Food jokes

I knead bread.

What do you call a bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear.

A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.

The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"

The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."

Q: What's red and screams?

A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

I can't stop thinking about those beans.

What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?

A Cake By The Ocean.

What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?

WiFi chips or his shoulder?

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

A: Do you eat food?

B: Yes...

A: You can sit on deez nuts then!

B: Omg I have depression now.

Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?

My brother likes his Vegemite so black, it stole our car.

An orphan is at a barbecue and is getting food. A man asks him if he wants steak or phan I ment ham.

What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?

The wheelchair.

Yo hairline be looking like a chicken nugget, headass.

So I was in the lunch room and was sitting by the peanut allergic kids' table. I stood up and I threw an opened bag of peanuts at them and yelled, "25 kill streak!" 🤣😂

I dreamed about drowning in an ocean made out of orange soda last night.

It took me a while to work out it was just a Fanta sea.

Charlie likes big, black chocolate.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

What's the difference between a watermelon and an orphan?

One you cut into 2 with a knife.

And the watermelon you cut into pieces.

Kaas.