Food jokes

Q: What's red and screams?

A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.

A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.

It was because he didn't speak French.

Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?

A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.

I was running away from expired grocery items with my friend, when I got out I noticed he was left for bread. I felt so guilty, he was toast. I'm not loafing this.

I made a bet with my friend that I couldn’t create a working car with spaghetti.

You should have seen her face when I drove pasta! 😂

I knead bread.

What do you call Mary Berry when she’s on holiday?

A Cake By The Ocean.

My dad was on a hotdog with ketchup.

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner.

How do you saw an apple with no mouth?

A P P L E

What goes in soft and comes out hard?

Gum, you whore!

What’s Steven Hawking's fav[orite] food?

WiFi chips or his shoulder?

What did the fat girl say to the donut?

"I'm going to eat you tonight..."

What's an orphan's favorite food? Nothing, they can't afford it.

What is a nut that says, "What is your favorite name?"

A magic nut.

I can't stop thinking about those beans.

What do you call a rapper's favorite place to eat?

The MIC Donald's drive-thru.

Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.

How bad is explosive diarrhea when a Muslim has it? Because my Chipotle blew up yesterday.

Q. Why don't cannibals eat clowns?

A. Because they hate the taste of their stupid clown wigs, makeup, and retarded shoes.