Food jokes

Down syndrome and brownies.

What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?

Finger food.

Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!

Pineapple goes on pizza.

Mayonnaise marry me?

My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.

What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?

They both have an expiry date.

When you say to your dad...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Dad be like...

Who wants my son?

Nan be like, "Me!"

Kid be like...

AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!

What are roux, says nan?

Um, they're your life savings!

Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"

My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.

I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.

Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?

Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.

Son, he is dinner.

Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.

What do plus a nut and a pee make?

Pee-nuts.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.

Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.