Food jokes

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile. "May I help you?"

"I was wondering," whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the handjobs?"

"Yes," she purrs, "I am."

The man replies, "Well, wash your hands, I want a cheeseburger."

Are you a cheese 🧀 from Denmark? Because your "guta."

This bunny named Mason came up to a bar and ordered a beer and a burger. He sits at a table and the waiter brought a huge burger.

Mason: "Heh. Good thing I eat like a horse." He looks up at the waiter.

Waiter: "You are a nasty little bunny, aren't you?"

Mason screamed and ran away as the waiter chased him... she was a HORSE.

What did the steak say to the other steak?

A man tried to attack me with milk and cheese—how dairy!

I named my refrigerator Oicurmt, because every time I look in, I say, "O I C, U R MT."

Say "toast" three times. Spell "toast" three times. What do you put in a toaster? The answer?

Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.

Why did Bella Thorne pass gas on "Shake It Up Chicago?" Because I gave her too split pea soup for breakfast.

Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."

What do apples and orphans have in common?

The apple gets picked.

I ate my mom.

Why did the tomato cross the road?

To ketchup with his friends on the other side.

Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.

Charlie likes big, black chocolate.

What do you call it when Panera Bread commits genocide?

Panera bloodshed.

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

Finding only half a worm.

The emo kid ran away after his parents asked why they took the barcode sticker off the Oreos.