Food jokes
What's the same thing between milk and a kid with cancer?
They both have an expiry date.
What can you not ride with two wheelchairs? A burger 🍔 one wheelchair.
Mayonnaise marry me?
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.
Memes
so true lol
When you say to your dad...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Dad be like...
Who wants my son?
Nan be like, "Me!"
Kid be like...
AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GIVE ME #### ROUX!
What are roux, says nan?
Um, they're your life savings!
Nan be like, "Let's get some roux!"
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
Bread?
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
What do plus a nut and a pee make?
Pee-nuts.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
Lettuce ketchup.