Food jokes
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
When you are trying to write a speech about Columbus, don't make a joke that he was on a seafood diet because the audience might think you and Columbus were fat. You know, 'see food, eat everything.'
What does a British cannibal's favorite meal?
Fish and chaps.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
I'd make a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy. I know y'all have too thick of a crust to get it!
Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call a fast Panera Bread?
Panera Sped.
MU, I love your joke, but I cut myself a piece of cake, pie, steak, cheesecake, and anything else I can find.
Timmy Turner: I wish the Vegan Teacher was a cheeseburger.
Wanda: Ok, Timmy.
Timmy: Cosmo, bring her to me!
Cosmo: Here you go, Timmy.
*Timmy eats Miss Kadie*
What's the difference between humans and mushrooms? I don't like eating mushrooms.
A hamburgur walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry. We don't serve food here."
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
What do you call a dog with no legs? No point in calling, he won't come anyway :(
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in!
If I had a dime for everytime the Australian president shat himself in a McDonald's, I would have one dime, which is not a lot, but it's weird that it happened.
Why did McDonald’s kill somebody because they stole the 12-piece nuggets that will never be seen because of them!
You must be rich! You've got all the cashews.
What do you call a black couple who's on welfare and food stamps?
Lay-Z and Freeyonce
Depressed person: *chokes on food* *involuntary coughs untill they can breathe* "AWWW I failed the race!!"
Me after Taco Bell: Go to: [link to image of broken toilet]
A donut is not empty inside, that was a hole in the middle. If I'm a donut, the hole used to be where I put my feeling and happiness, but people snatch it away from me.
Anyway, can someone put a hole in my physical body too? I kinda wanted to see people cry for me just like how people cry for Ace from One Piece.