Food jokes
What's the difference between a child and a carrot? About 140 calories.
What do plus a nut and a pee make?
Pee-nuts.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Warning: If you're planning to look here for jokes about the FOOD nuts, don't bother. It's filled with penis jokes.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Memes
Why did Alice from Wonderland get her butt stuck in the rabbit hole at first? Because she probably ate too many hamburgers and drank too much wine just out of nowhere, then told her butt to hold it in before more food pops out.
Why did the orange start blushing?
Because it saw the salad dressing!
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
Why did Sally's pizza get cold? Because she has no arms.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Lettuce ketchup.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Bread?
What did the cow say to the other?
"Cheese!"
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
Why can’t orphans eat at a family restaurant? Because they don’t have a mom or dad.