Food jokes
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
I live in a world made of cheese. Someone stubbed their toe and screamed, "Cheese-its, Christ!"
Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Me: Hey, I have candy.
Kid: Right next to me, can I have some?
Me: Some of deez nuts.
Memes
What’s the difference between anal sex and vegetables? One is cruel to the person getting it in, the other is vegetables.
Why don’t you peel a banana?
It’s too hard to kill your nana.
What do squirrels eat?
Nuts. 🥜
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
Remember, children, when you're hungry at 3:00, cook forks for 10 minutes, ok?
What did the rapper say at the bakery?
"I need ALL the dough you got!"
How do you know a rapper is ready to cook?
He drops the beet.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
1 like = 1 fetus donated to the soup kitchen.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
Why did the rapper open a bakery?
To make some DOUGH on the side.
Why did the human eat cereal in the bathroom?
So he could querk.
I’ve seen more life in a bowl of WEEK-OLD GUACAMOLE than in BLESSEDBRIAN’S jokes.
If Slade were a vegetable, he’d be a BRUSSELS SPROUT... small, bitter, and NOBODY wants him at the table.
Why don't rappers ever become chefs?
Because they can't stop droppin' the beet!