Food jokes
What happens when you see corn looking at you in your window?
A corn stalk!
Wanna hear a pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy.
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
Q: Why couldn't the queer wist eating his hot dog?
A: Because it tasted like shit.
What is an egg?
Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain’t a chef!
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Are you having rabbit and duck for dinner?
Yeah.
Why?
Because I got too obsessed with hares.
What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is fun to smash and one is a watermelon.
Dad goat: Son, do you know what I like to eat?
Son goat: No, what?
Dad goat: Goat meat.
Son goat: *Gasps*
Dad goat: Nah, I'm just KIDing.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.
I wanted some breakfast, so I grabbed some Life cereal.
I poured it, but lemons came out. So I said, "Well, when life gives you lemons!"
Me and my cousin went to a restaurant yesterday.
I ordered my chicken fried, he ordered his chicken alive.
A no legged manager runs the nearest pizza place called Your Pizza Is A Joke.
I (J0K35) worked there and this happened...
Manager: WHY ARE THE PINEAPPLES IN THE TRASH?
Me: Because nobody eats fucking pineapple pizza.
Manager: THAT'S IT! I'M KICKING YOU OUT OF THIS PLACE!
Me: You can't kick me out.
Manager: Why not? Huh?
Me: Because you need legs to kick, and you don't have any.
Ever wonder why pandas are endangered? Well, China's overcrowded, and therefore they're starving. They have to eat...
Panda: "My god. They're coming! Run! They're hungry! Run! Roll down the hill!"
Chinese People At Bottom Of Mountain With Spears: "Ching chong wing bong KABOB!!!"
There are three people on an island. One dies, and the second guy goes to bury them. He comes back with deer meat. The first guy eats it, but the second guy refuses the meal.
When the men return to the mainland, they part ways. The first man goes to eat the deer again at a local restaurant. He takes one bite, then jumps off a bridge.
In heaven, an angel asks him why.
“Well you see,” he answered, “that man was a tribal cannibal. Delicious in my wife’s meat, though.”
Bread is racist.