Food jokes
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Ground beef.
What does a man masturbating and a mayo bottle have in common?
They can both squirt out their cum.
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
What is a cheetah's favorite snack?
Cheetos.
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Beef stroganoff.
Memes
What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apples get picked! 🤪
Why are the people that get your order at restaurants called waiters? They don't wait for the food; we wait for the food. They should be called "note takers." They take notes for food.
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Depression jokes are like food... not every people get it.
I got barred from Weight Watchers today.
It wasn't my fault; it was the fat ass next to me who spilled her box of Maltesers onto the floor in the middle of the room. All I did was say that it was the funniest game of Hungry Hungry Hippos that I have ever seen.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
That was a really crappy bun!
Why can’t orphans go to a family restaurant?
Because there’s no family.
I hope you have to dip your Oreos in water because your dad never came back with the milk.
Banana joke?
What did the tomato say to the sad pickle?
"What's the big dill?"
Why can't the orphan eat Doritos?
They were all family sized!
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
What is the definition of polish sausage?
🐴🍖 Horse meat.