Food jokes
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
What's the sun's favorite chocolate? Mars bar.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
What do depressed teenagers and fruits have in common?
They both hang by something.
My mom told me that Africans don't have food, so I shipped my fat-ass brother.
How do you organize a space party? You "planet" with some "cheddar" and "brie"-pare for launch!
Why was the cheese always so confident? Because it had such a "gouda" self-image.
Why did the baby strawberry cry? Because his mom was in a jam!
Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
What's the difference between jelly and jam? You can't jelly a clown into the tiny car.
What do you call a bald person on fire?
A fried egg.
Why were the World Trade Center so mad? Because they ordered 3 pizzas, but 2 came in plane and 1 went to the wrong address.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?
Dry Vegetable.
Yo mama so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.