Food jokes
Three men are shipwrecked on a jungle island and taken prisoner by the residing cannibals. They are all told to walk into the jungle and come back with one piece of fruit. They go in and the first man comes out with a peach. He is instructed to shove it in his ass, and if he laughs, he will be killed. He tries and dies.
The second man comes back with a grape and is instructed to do the same. When the two meet at the pearly gates, the first man says, "I had a peach. They're fuzzy. You had a grape. What's your excuse?"
"Well, I was doing fine until I saw Jimmy come out of the brush with a pineapple."
A kid is trick-or-treating. He knocks on a door. Then someone opens the door and the kid said, "HI, I'M THE WICKED WIENER!"
Want to hear a joke about milk? No, it's too cheesy.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple got chosen.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Lemon.
Haha! Hahahah! Hahahaah!
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
Yo mama's so hot when she walked into Subway she gave me a foot long!
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What’s the difference between a fruit and an orphan? One gets chosen :)
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What is another word for a bagel? 🥯
Jewish doughnut ✡️ 🍩👏 👏 👍 👍 👌 👌 💪 💪 😋 🏆 🎖
I thought a waitress said to me, "You're good looking." In fact, she was asking if I'd like some pudding.
What do KFC and pussy have in common?
Both are finger lickin' good, and after you are done eating, you have a box to put the bone in.
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
An unfortunate accident happened at the Nestlè factory. A man named Joe was seriously injured because a box of chocolates fell on him. Every time he said, "The chocolates are on me!" everyone cheered.
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Yo mama so fat that if she didn't eat for a day, there would be enough food to feed Africans for 500 years.
Three people die on the same day: a German, an American, and an Italian. They all go to Hell for various reasons.
American: "I won't ever see my dog again!"
Italian: "I won't ever make pizzas again!"
German: "Hey, granddad, how have you been?"