Food jokes
What is a physicist's favorite food?
Fission chips.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
What has to be broken before you can use it?
Answer: An egg.
What did a tree say to the tomato?
Nothing! Trees don't talk, silly.
Hm, free food
What is the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish.
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
I love bread so much that I might join a bread cult.
What does Aaron eat for breakfast? Food.
What type of cookie has an orphan never had? Homemade cookies.
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
My mom always said garlic powder makes everything better, so I sprinkled some on my divorce papers and my wife's broken leg.
The only food I want to review is my wife's rear end.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Why couldn't the man get out of the maize maze?
He got corn-ered!
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "Johnny, do you pray before you eat?" Little Johnny says, "I don't need to, my mum makes good food."
What do you call a baby kangaroo? Joey.
What do you call a 6 year old named Joey? Supper.
Why don’t cannibal kids eat people with Down Syndrome? Because kids don’t like vegetables.