Food jokes
What is the difference between onions and babies?
I cry when I cut onions.
Why do you call a pineapple a pineapple?
Because it is a pineapple, pin, apple, apple, pen, doudodo.
What is a rat's favorite dessert?
A chocolate mousse cake.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Yo mama so fat that when she went to KFC, she asked for the bucket on the roof.
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I had to give up my vegetarian diet.
Turns out they're a lot harder to catch than cows.
One day my friend said: "I want tacos from Katie's, you?" and I said no thanks and she left. I never saw her again. Today I remember that I saw her name on TV as one of the victims of suicide, then I remember her and my motto: "If I'm dying, you're dying with me, you got no choice." I NEVER ate tacos from Katie's again.
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
A Ba-na-na-na! (To the tune of Beethoven's 5th symphony)
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
*Breaking News!* - Apparently the first person in Melbourne has died because of the Coronavirus. In his house they found 1000 cans of food, 50 kilos of pasta, 80 kilos of rice, 300 toilet rolls and 50L of hand sanitiser which he had panic purchased from the supermarket and stockpiled "just in case".
The whole lot collapsed and buried him.
Little Red Riding Hood has to deliver food to her grandma again. She can drive now because she is sixteen. One the way, she accidentally took the wrong way and got to a different forest where her grandma lives now. She found the wrong cottage that looked like her grandma's home. When she opened the door, she found her younger and older sisters of ages 9, 11, 18, and 22. How old is Little Red Riding Hood?
Answer: 16
Where do you get milk from? The Milky Way, of course!
What did the roti say to pratha?
You white like a white bastard.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What did one nut say to the other nut?
A: "Candice deez nuts fit in my mouth."
The bakery where I work is being robbed. I said to the people, "I am calling the police." Then I realized they did not come for the money; they came for the bread. Huh, go figure!
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.