Food jokes
If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.
What's green, red, and spins at 4000rpm?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a cow that skydives without a parachute?
Ground beef.
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
You're so ugly, you make onions cry.
Why was the apple 🍎 sad?
Because he got his peelings hurt.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans? Apples actually get picked.
Me: Do you like smash?
Friend: Smash Rolls?
Me: No, Smash DEEZ NUTS!
Friend: AHHHHH (*moans)
I traded my sister for a slice of pizza. Damn, that pizza was good!
Why was the orphan eating cereal with water? Because he has no dad to bring him milk.
Why can't orphans have cereal? Because their dad didn't come back with the milk.
What do you call it when a prostitute pays someone 5 bucks to fuck them?
5 dollar footlongs.
Stephen Hawking prefers rolls to slices of bread.
What goes oOoOo on your breath that scared away the animals from the farm?
I'm hungry.
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.