Food jokes
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
Yo mama so dumb, she failed lunch.
Wolf looks like a fox.
It has the sharpest claws.
It has a bushy tail.
To eat, it doesn't fail.
It has a coat of red.
My grandmother has said,
It hunts in search of food.
It is never, never good!
Best not leave hungry kids unattended!
This Chinese girl didn't know what a sausage roll was, so I replied, "It's like a spring roll with sausage in it, but not any dog or cat how you have it."
What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?
The wheelchair.
How did the hamburger know he needed new pants?
His buns were too tight.
What did the rapper say to the vegetable?
"Lettuce DROP some BEATS!"
How do you start a rave in Ethiopia?
You put food on the ceiling and they start jumping.
Fun fact: Pringles are named Pringles because somebody decided to name them Pringles.
Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?
Because they're family sized!
I got a chicken drum stick for lunch, thought I might drum up an appetite!
I had a dream about the whole ocean being filled with orange soda.
Turns out it was a Fanta sea.
What do you call a fat Chinese person that talks way too much? Panda Express.
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
J0K35 (me): So I heard China recently released a snack.
Guy: Oh, what is it?
J0K35: They call it the Asian Raisin.
Guy: Isn't that what RiceGum was when he released Frick da police?
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Being an orphan isn't all bad. On the bright side, all your snacks are family-sized.
Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."