Food jokes
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
Kids, next time you have school dinners, make sure you have something you actually like so you don't have to shove all your food over to one side of the plate to make it look like you've eaten more than you actually have.
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Three guys walk into a room where a man is sitting with an assortment of foods on his plate because it's lunchtime. The guys ask the man to do a favor, and he says, "Sorry guys, I have a lot on my plate!"
What did the vegetable say to the other before the fight?
Time to beet your maker.
Memes
Knock, knock. Who's there? Iceberg lettuce. Iceberg lettuce who? Iceberg! Let us in!
"Hi, honey, how do you want buns?"
Why do crabs never give to charity?
Because they're all shellfish.
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
A girl named Ranch went to the store and stayed there. Why? Because she was ranched!
I'm hungry.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To run from poachers.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
I once went to the bank with some raisins because I wanted to set up a current account.
My god, my egg jokes are eggcellent!
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
A: A carrot!
Why did the strawberry cry?
Her mom was in a jam.
What do you call a rapper who LOVES to cook?
Lil' Spice
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
What do you call a 96-year-old who can still masturbate?
Miracle Whip.