Food jokes
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a bottle of orange juice for 12 hours because it said "concentrate."
Mom: Please eat, baby!
Baby: No!
Mom: Here comes the airplane!
What do you call a Black man having a seizure?
Chocolate shake.
Why do vegans use blowjobs?
Because they can’t take real meat.
Lily, Amy, Natalie, and Gabriella, it's my birthday tomorrow. Please come if you want to come. If you come to the party, there will be snacks and cake. Ty.
How do you know you had a gay cookout?
All the hotdogs taste like ass.
What do you call an environmentally conscious Mexican?
A green bean.
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
What is the only thing lesbians know how to grow? Cucumbers.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got locked in the grocery store and starved to death.
Why are the Twin Towers mad?
They are like pepperoni and cheese as a plane.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
Son: What's for dinner tonight?
Mom: Steak!
Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?
Mom: HUNGER!
"Hey, man, do you have any Ben and Jerry's?"
"Yeah, I have two of them, fresh and preserved in the freezer."
"I meant the ice cream, bro..."
Why do orphans dip their cookies in water?
Because their dad never came back with milk. Ohhhhhhhh!
In the cute fantasies: "Est-ce que tu manges du poulet? Attendez une seconde, VOTRE PROFESSEUR VEGAN!!!!!"
In reality: "Are you eating chicken? Wait a second, YOUR THE VEGAN TEACHER!!!"
Why do orphans love chips? They love the family-sized ones, too!
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
What is Jeffrey Dahmer's favorite restaurant?
Five Guys.
I'm gonna eat a hell of a lot of popcorn kernels before I die just to make the cremation a little more interesting.