Food jokes
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple has a family tree.
What does a squirrel eat? Deez Nutz in their mouth.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and they got plain!
What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??
Milkshake.
Q: Why did the boy not eat the banana?
A: He was scared the juice might come out.
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
What do you call a Chinese boxer?
U lamb chow.
My sis said only garlic and onions can make you cry.
So I threw an orange at her.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
Did you hear about the old Italian chef?? Yeah he pasta away.
Then a man walked comprehending to be him. Everyone knew he was an impasta.
I have no problem getting dates online. I’ve also had luck with almonds, cashews, and walnuts.
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
What is a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
How do you eat a meat?
You steak it in your mouth.
What did the skeleton say before dinner? "Bone appetit." His whole family found that humerus.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.