Food jokes

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

What do angels serve at birthday parties in Heaven?

Angel food cake! 🎂🥳

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

Rabbit poop is cereal.

What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?

Beets stain your teeth.

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Bean.

What is China's favorite restaurant?

The Pet Store.

What do you call a masturbating cow?

Beef stroganoff.

Why did the rape victim stop eating pears?

Because she was told that if you rearrange the letters "PEAR," it spells "rape."

Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?

Allah's snackbar!