Food jokes
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
If an orphan were to get a takeaway, what’s the home address?
Can you drive a pizza? Of course, as long as you change the olive oil.
What do you call a pig who does karate?
Pork chop!
What's red and white and lives in a blender?
A baby.
What do cannibals read?
People.
Digest Readers.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"
Me: *opens a bag of hot Cheetos in class*
All my friends: Hey bro, can I have some?
People I don't know: Please lemme have some. PLEASE, I'll be your best friend!
People I say no to: (⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)(⊙-⊙)
All orphans deserve to die if they don't buy KFC.
What's the only thing Mexicans can unwrap on Christmas? Tamales.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
Broccoli is like anal sex.
If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
What do you get when you mix Viagra with spinach?
Strong to the finish.
Why is there air conditioning at a hospital?
To keep the vegetables cool and fresh.
Yum!
Why don't Bald Eagles like fast food? It always runs away!
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Your mom's so small that she hang glided on a Dorito!
Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.