Food jokes

My wife went to make a cake. The recipe said, "Separate two eggs," so she put one egg in the living room.

Why don’t Belgians eat shit sandwiches?

They don’t fancy bread!

Johnny Johnny?

Yes pa pa.

Eating sugar?

Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing I can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.

Your forehead looks like the inside of a Malteser.

John pretended to be a doctor.

Motu came to him. He said, "I lost my hunger."

John brought some samosas for his lunch. Motu ate them. John said, "Your hunger is back!"

Then, Motu said, "I lost my taste."

John said, "Number 1, bring some water." Motu drank it and said, "This is petrol!" John said, "Your taste is back!"

Motu said, "I lost my memory."

John said, "Number 1, bring some medicine." Motu said, "But Number 1 brought water." John said, "Your memory is back!"

What is the opposite of salt water?

Pepper water.

So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"

What's Stephen Hawking's favorite food? Meals on wheels.

How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?

He forgot to wrap his Whopper.

Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.

Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?

Mom: No, that's impossible.

Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?

Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.

Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?

Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.

What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?

Beets stain your teeth.

You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.

Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.

Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!

In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.

They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"

The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."

What is China's favorite restaurant?

The Pet Store.

Bean.