Food jokes
Fruit is like life. You slowly eat it away as it slowly also begins to rot like everyone I’ve known.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What do royals and hot dogs have in common?
They're usually in bread.
Why didn't anyone laugh at pizza jokes?
Because they were too cheesy!
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Memes
Why aren't dogs known as carrots? Because they aren't.
He: I'm Nike, and you're McDonalds.
She: Why?
He: 'Cause I'm doing it, and you're loving it. :)
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why did the egg hide?
Because it was a little chicken!
Lil bro's hairline is making me hungry wit that M shape also hitten me wit that damb batab bat bat baaa.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen.
Yo mama so fat, the only letters that she knows are KFC.
I’m always the first person in line at school for lunch.
I just cut everyone.
New business idea: let's put a KFC in Africa and a watermelon shop.
What do you get when you mix a grizzly bear and milk? Mauled.
What's the similarity between Christmas stuffing and my penis?
I like them both inside dead animals, because alive animals feel too much like men, and then I'd cum too quick.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they do not live in a swing state.
I dare you to smile like a donut. Did you do it?
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What does Can do after eating its vegetables?
Go on eBay to see how much he can sell the wheelchair for.