Food jokes

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll-up.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

The secrets of life.

Mac & Cheese.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.

Glizzy?

What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?

Her-she.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An im-pasta.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

Quoting the great Jimmy Carr: "When I cook, I make sure there are vegetarian options. They can make do, or they can fuck off."

Why didn’t the Twin Towers like their pizza?

Cause it was plain.

My mates threw nuts at the wall, now we call them walnuts.

Hahaha :)

What's the food orphans can't eat?

Family-sized ice cream.

What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?

Why do orphans have cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.