Food jokes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
Do you like Wendy’s?
Yeah, Wendy’s nuts finna go in your mouth!
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
Memes
What happens to a cannibal who shows up late for dinner? He gets the cold shoulder.
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta!
Write a different joke of onions and a dead baby.
What's the difference between a Thanksgiving turkey and my kid?
I only stuff the turkey.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
Michael Jackson went into an Italian restaurant and died because he choked on 9-year-old meatballs.
Don't see why people say that babysitting a toddler is hard. You just grease the bathtub, put them inside with some food and drink, and go do your business. I guarantee you that they will still be there when you return.
If you stay in the house, you might need to use sound cancelling headphones too, though.
1. What do you call a dinosaur that is sleeping?
A dino-snore!
2. What is fast, loud, and crunchy?
A rocket chip!
3. Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed!
4. What has ears but cannot hear?
A cornfield!
5. What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between us, something smells!
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What do you call an anorexic bitch with a yeast infection?
Quarter pounder with cheese.
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.
A family of 3, a dad, a mom, and a 12 year old son are driving in the car when the dad says, “How about we play a little game of two truths and a lie? It’ll be fun.”
“Ok,” the mom and son reply happily.
“Let me start,” says the son.
“Ok, go ahead,” replies the mom.
“I hate video games, I hate school, and I love junk food,” says the son.
“Ooh ooh! You do love junk food, you do hate school, and you don’t hate video games,” says the mom.
“Your right!” He replies.
“I’ll go next,” says the dad. “I love your mom, you’re adopted, and my dad almost died in WWII.”
“Hmm... Your dad did not almost die in WWII, obviously I’m not adopted, and you do love my mom,” Says the son.
“The lie is the second on,” says the dad.
How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.
How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.
Why do people eat food?
Coz it tastes good lol.
I wrote a song about tortillas...
Actually, it's more of a wrap.