Food jokes
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
So, a guy walks into a gas station and walks to the person working and says, "Can I have a Kit Kat Chunky?" So she gets him one, and then he says, "No, I want a normal Kit Kat, you fat bitch!"
What is the opposite of salt water?
Pepper water.
Yo mama so fat, her blood type is mayonnaise.
How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream cone?
Cuz he got hit by a bus while crossing the street.
I eat ass.
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
You can tune a guitar, but you can’t tuna fish.
The early bird might get the worm...
But the second mouse gets the cheese.
Does anyone else here eat pretzels with Nutella? It tastes AMAZINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
In a proud, boastful voice, Gemma told the old Chinese woman who was babysitting her that onions were the only food that could make you cry. The woman nodded and said that was true enough.
They continued eating for a while. "This is really good!" the little girl exclaimed. "What's this meat?"
The old lady replied with: "Well, there was a brown dog in your yard that wouldn't stop yapping."
What do you call a masturbating cow?
Beef stroganoff.
Bean.
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
What did the salad dressing say to the tomato?
"Don't look! I'm dressing!"