Food jokes
Why did da tomato blush?! IT SAW THE SALAD DRESSING YUH!
Why can’t an orphan eat a bag of chips?
Because it was family size.
Why was I stress eating on the train track?
To wait to get hit.
Why were the tenants of the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered a pepperoni pizza, but they got PLANE.
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat, she said nothing. So I brought her to Africa.
Look at it, it's a soulless green glob.
Bean.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
Yo mama so stupid, she thought a donut was dough shaped like a nut.
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
Why does Mario eat mushrooms?
Because he's a very fungi!
This disabled kid walked up to me, so I asked what disease he had. He said, "Lima." So I said, "Come again?" And he said, "Lima nuts." And I asked if that was a fruit, and he said, "No, I'm a vegetable."
Want to hear a pizza joke?
Never mind, it’s too cheesy.
I still can’t forget that tiny little dead fish in my blue lunchbox.
What do you call your angry French aunt?
A crossaunt.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
How do you cook an alligator? With a croc-pot.
My autistic son hates taking baths or showers.
I don’t blame him, I don’t like soggy vegetables either.
A chef named his chicken Richard and named a rooster Ballz. A guy walks up and asks the chef what he's cooking. He replies, "My dick and balls."
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What's the difference between fruit and a freshly killed corpse?
I don't eat the fruit.