Food jokes
What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business.
Why are they called s’mores?
Because you always want another one!
Why do the French eat snails?
They don’t like fast food!
I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.
Why doesn't China have a cricket team?
They always eat the bat.
Toaster Strudel
Your mom is so dumb that she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.
Why did the rapper become a gardener?
Because he wanted to drop some fresh beets!
My son said he burnt food on accident, so I told him he was an accident.
What's green and sings?
Elvis Parsley!
Yo mama so ugly, she got a lifetime ban from KFC for ordering too many burgers.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
Why did the plane go to KFC?
To lose its wings and crash!
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
What is the difference between onions and my dead grandma?
I cried when I cut up the onions.
You wanna know what's the difference between a girl and a refrigerator? "A refrigerator doesn't moan when I put my meat in it."
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.
What do you put on a cheeseburger? It's a wrap!
One time an ant was collecting food. Suddenly, a wind pushed the ant into the river. The ant said, "Help! Help!" and a pigeon heard it. Then, he grabbed a leaf and threw it in the river. The ant climbed on it, and then the pigeon and the ant became best friends. But one time, a hunter came to kill the pigeon. When the ant saw him, she bit his leg and the pigeon flew away from the arrow, and that's how friends are, everybody.
My sister has cows, and after 4 months, she said there was a mis-steak.