Food jokes
Why were the Twin Towers made on 9/11? They ordered pepperoni pizza but got plane.
What did the mama nut say to her son?
“If I ever cashew doing that, I walnut be happy.”
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
Yo mama so stupid... she stared at an orange juice carton because it said, "CONCENTRATE!"
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
What is the favorite dish in Africa? The empty one.
What is a popular name for girl peanuts?
Michelle.
Peanut butter 🧈?
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
"I only eat food on the right of my plate."
"Are you good at eating?"
"I'm alright at eating."
Where did the cake sleep on the stove?
In a pan.
Why did the twin towers complain to the pizza restaurant?... Because they ordered pepperoni pizza and got plain.
There is this fish, and this fish thinks if that fly drops 6 inches, I’m gonna jump out the water and eat that fucking fish!
Then there is a bear, he thinks if that fly drops six inches, that fish jumps up - I’m gonna run out there and eat that fucking fish!
This huntsman also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps up, bear runs out, eats the fish. I’m gonna shoot that fucking bear.
Unbelievably there is a tiny little brave mouse, who also thinks to himself 🧐 if that fly drops six inches, fish jumps, bear runs, huntsman shoots,
He’s bound to drop that cheese sandwich in his back pocket!!!!
I’m gonna eat that fucking cheese sandwich!!
Meanwhile...
there’s This cat!!!’ He sees what’s going on - if they fly drops six inches -the fish =bear =huntsman =mouse eating the cheese sarnie....
Easy pickings...
Anyway bang 💥 the fly drops six inches. Fish jumps up. Bear grabs the fish. Huntsman shoots the fucking bear,
DROPS HIS CHEESE SARNIE!!
Cat runs after mouse trying to get the cheese sarnie
The cat slips over him (stacks it) cat falls in the river...
LONG STORY I KNOW BUT THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS...
every time a fly drops six inches a pussy get wet)
WALLOP... try remembering all that in A pub pissed. Xx
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
For my birthday on September 11th this year, I just want a plane, but delicious, chocolate cake.
What foods are orphans allergic to? Homemade food.
For some reason, when my mom eats hot dogs, she likes to lick and suck on it first. As a son, can anyone tell me why?