Food jokes

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Two people wanted pepperoni pizza... Sadly, they got planes.

Q: What's 1+1? 2+2? 4+4? 8+8? Name a vegetable.

A: Carrot 🥕

Life's like a box of chocolates. Doesn't last long for fat people.

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

When I dunk my cookies in milk, I think of you. I hold them down until the bubbles stop.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

I have an addiction to cheddar cheese, but it's only mild.

Name a nut. You because are nuts.

Which one fell first, the Emo Kid or the apple?

The apple, because the rope caught the kid.

Why are uncles like curries?

Because bad ones hurt your asshole.

Umm, Tyrone did not get his chicken.

Why did oozy go to the toilet to eat trains?

What did the Turkey say to the other Turkey?

"They forgot the stuffing!"

What did the fat guy say to the tree?

"Get me some coconuts!"

"Hey, I heard you were a bit down—where's John?"

"He died."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, but I got you food."

(After they eat) "Hey, how did John taste seasoned and cooked?"

Am I a guard or a guava?

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?