Food jokes

What competition do nuts participate in?

The peanut butter cup.

What happens to a nervous nut?

It cracks.

The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

I want an almond-flavored biscuit.

I want an almond-flavored biscuit. Amaretti? You bet I am!

I’d tell you a secret about peanut butter, but you might spread it.

I love almond milk. It’s unlike any udder milk.

Cashew, see, I'm nuts about you!?

I hate orange, but that always juice back.

Have you heard of Wendy's?

Yea, Wendy's nuts in you mouth.

Why do people hate math? They always get hungry while learning about the pie chart.

What makes Mrs. Grape 🍇 a good mother?

Raisin' her kids!

Am I a guard or a guava?

Ever have an Italian sausage in a can?

What do you call it when a cow gets disciplined by her parents?

Grounded beef.

It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.

Oh, ate the cheese? Urmom.

Chicken on a stick with a macaroni tick.

Is it still called beef if two vegetarians are arguing?