Food

Food jokes

Doctor

My doctor said I could have up to 20 units a week. But now I've eaten half of my kitchen.

Potato

Give a man a potato, he is full for a day.

Give a man a poisoned potato, he'll be full for the rest of his life.

Chimp

Julie: What's the difference between a chimp and a pizza?

John: I don't know.

Julie: Remind me not to send you to the store...

Orphan

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

Memes

Orphan

Why can't orphans have a big bag of chips?

Because they're family sized!

Pancake

Why does the pancake team in baseball always win? Because they have the best batter.

Chef

When you are eating delicious street food in China and you ask the chef: You: "Is this chicken?" Chef: "No, its meow meow."

Daddy

Your daddy's so fat, he tripped over a rock. He thought it was a chip.

Apple

What do you get if you cross an apple with a shellfish?

A crab apple!