Food jokes

How do you kill a sheep?

You lamb shank it!

Yo mama is so stupid, she thought Pillsbury was a fruit.

How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?

Clucky!

You're built like a double cheeseburger.

What part of a vegetable can you not eat?

The wheelchair.

Yo momma is so stupid, she eats cardboard boxes thinking they're chocolate bars.

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?

An apple gets picked.

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

I am like mushrooms. Nobody likes me, but everybody tolerates me.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll-up.

Momma's so fat, she can use her belly button as a breakfast bowl.

The secrets of life.

Mac & Cheese.

I jump and jump if you put bread in me too many times. What am I? A toaster.

For any bag of chips, it's considered family size.

What is the difference between apples and orphans?

Apples actually get picked.

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Takis.

What did the policeman shout to the cow running away?

"Get to the ground, beef!"

Glizzy?