Food jokes
What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.
What's long and black? The line at KFC.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
The 911 people really didn't scramble fast enough, so they got folded like an omelet.
What do you call a burger 🍔 with one eye?
A one giant.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.
This kinda reminds me of when my mum was feeding me. She always used to say, "Open wide for the delicious plane."
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
What did the clock do when it was hungry? It went back four seconds.
A man attacked me with cheese and milk. How dairy!
What's white, red, and screams a lot?
A baby in a blender.
What's a depressed person's least favorite type of cereal?
LIFE.
If boys are like sports because they are easy to play, then girls are like a sandwich. They are nice at first, but they're crusty after.
Poop + mouth = yummy for dung Beatles and HEDGEHOGS!
What is a group of disabled people in a coma called?
A salad.
Why don’t old people have sex?
When was the last time you tried pulling apart a grilled cheese that old?
I love going to Hooters and looking at the menu... If you know what I mean;)
I'm so excited for Christmas Pudding... Pudding these nuts in your mouth.
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.