Food jokes

What do you do when your man doesn't like fruit jokes?

Let the mango.

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apples get picked.

At a party, a young wife admonished her husband, "That's the fourth time you've gone back for ice cream and cake. Doesn't it embarrass you?"

"Why should it?" answered her spouse. "I keep telling them it's for you."

Why don’t I shut myself all the time?

I can only fit so many pairs of kids in my mouth and stomach at the same time.

Why do orphans dip their Oreos in water?

Because the dad never came with the milk.

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

Why did the North Tower want chocolate ice cream?

Because he didn't want plane.

Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a pony. He opened up a pasta shop and made some macaroni.

Your mom is so fat, that burger.

What happened when the corn got scolded? He got an earful!

What do you call it when you sell Panera Bread in your shed?

Panera Shed.

Me running from the table where the Emos sit with a Happy Meal.

Say this when you answer a spam call...

"Hi, welcome to Bob's Taco Shack and Funeral Home, where yesterday's grief is today's beef."

Why did the emo kid leave the food on the table?

It was the Happy Meal.

Your mum is so fat, she thought Dunkin' Donuts was a basketball team.

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Did you hear what happened to the Italian chef?

He pasta-way...

(Phone call) This is Frank's funeral home and grill, where yesterday's grief is today's beef. How may we help you?

Your sister is so stupid, she only thinks an onion will make people cry.

So I threw a coconut at her.