Food jokes
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
What did the sushi say to the bee?
"Wasuuubi!"
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
Memes
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
How do you make an elephant float?
One elephant, two scoops of ice cream, and a lot of root beer!
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!