Food jokes
What kind of flour do orphans use to bake bread?
Self-raising flour.
"I know, you have a lot on your plate right now."
What is the difference between an Orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Man goes to the doctor. He has a banana sticking out of one ear, a carrot sticking out of the other ear, and a green bean sticking out of one nostril.
"Doctor, I'm not feeling well," the man complains.
"Well, it's no wonder," the doctor replies. "You're not eating right!"
Spongebob and Jacko have one thing in common.
They both routinely place meat in small buns.
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
What do you call a Panera Bread after vanishing?
Panera Fade.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
What's a pedophile's favorite fast food meal?
In-N-Out of kids.
🧀: C’mon tomato!
🍅: I’m trying to ketchup.
🧀: You’re a mile away.
🍅: I am a tomato! It’s not that easy for me to ketchup.
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet? Beets stain your teeth.
Why did Sophia cross the road?
To eat her nuggies!
What do you call it when you baptize a Mexican? Bean dip!
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
What do women and peanut butter have in common?
They're both easy to spread.
What do you call an egg murder?
An eggs-terminator!
What's the chunkiest part of vegetable soup?
The wheelchair.