Food jokes
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
Memes
so true
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta.
I have a dead fish in my lunchbox.
Why do basketball players love cookies so much?
Because they can dunk them!
If my boobies are fish, then am I salmon boobies? Please give generously.
What's a chair's favorite snack?
Chair-ies or Cherries if that's how you wanna spell it .3.
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
Why are eggs bad at puns?
They always mix up their yolks!
A man once ate the left side of a person. One guy watching asked if the guy he was eating was okay. The man eating him said, "No... it's okay, he's all right now."
What do you call an engineer that bakes? A BAKENEER!
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
Warning: if you don't like gummy bears, DO NOT READ.
Q: What do you call a Mexican gummy bear?
A: Delici-Oso