Food jokes
Why did the banana like the movie?
Because it was apeeling.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Pizza.
Pizza who?
Never mind, it was so cheesy.
2 weeks here.
What do dicks and popsicles have in common?
They both like to be sucked on, and they sometimes choke you.
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
What is fraud supposed to taste like?
Bananas and Rice.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
One time my friend nutted into my bag of trail mix.
I guess you could say I fucking ate a different kind of nut.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.
Knock, knock.
Moon, give me cheese.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
The apple gets picked.
If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
Why do people eat cereal for breakfast?
Because why not.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call a chicken staring at a pile of lettuce?
A chicken sees a salad.
(Say it out loud if you don't get it!)