Food jokes
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
If Carlos and Jose took a brownie from me and I had 10 to start, what do I have?
Answer: A math problem.
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling very well!
Memes
What sound does a nut make when it sneezes? Cashew.
What are cow jokes considered?
Cheesy.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup?
A space.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
Why did the rapper refuse to write a diss track?
He didn’t want to start beef, he’s VEGAN.
Why was the bee’s hair sticky?
He used honeycomb.
I wrote a song about a tortilla.
Actually, it’s more of a wrap.
I told my sister a Dairy joke.
She said it was cheesy.
It's amazing how dog owners can make their dogs shout different things. For example, Czech dogs go "barf," American dogs go "woof," and Chinese dogs go "sizzle."
What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?
They ate the bat!
What did the salt say to the vinegar during the sweet and sour dynasty?
"STUPID VINIGGER!"
What's a priest's favorite fruit?
Cantaloupe.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up.
If you don't like them, you're just hard boiled.