Food jokes
What is the difference between babies and dogs?
I don't eat dog parts.
Potato.
Yo mamma so stupid, she starved to death in a grocery store.
Why did the Roman eat pizza? He felt like it.
Hairy vagina is like sweets with the wrapper on. You don't like it, but you still eat it.
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your dick into someone's asshole.
Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Exercise? I thought you said "extra fries."
Question: Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Answer: Because they taste funny!
Mama is so Catholic, Swiss cheese wishes it was as holy as she is. Do you...
Q. What's the difference between an Alzheimer's patient and a tomato? A. A tomato isn't a vegetable.
All these wraps and you still can't beatbox.
I asked my friend what their serial number was... He said "Cheerios."
What did the egg say to the blender? Nothing. It's an egg joke.
Why do pirates say, "Argh my Hardees?"
Because that's how you tell when they have the hards.
Why does Michael Jackson like Chef Boyardee? He likes the little balls.
Wood fired pizza?
How's pizza gonna pay child support now?! :O
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I just had a birthday party last week at my crib. I invited two fine, beautiful looking women. One was skinny and her name was Kelly, and the other one was overweight and her name was Chiquita.
Both of them came by. I told Chiquita only Kelly can stay and enjoy my birthday. You can't, you're too fat and clumsy, and I don't have any food or drinks for you, so see ya later, nutty professor.
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Just think, when we're getting fucked, we make our own food.