Food jokes
What's the difference between jam and jelly?
You can't jelly your way into someone's pants.
There was a Cheerio that had a job. He worked hard at it, and the boss came up and promoted him to the vice president of the Cheerios. So he needed a speech. He kept practicing and practicing and now he was thirsty. It was almost time for his speech, so he went to the drinking fountain, but there was a huge line. So he went to the lake, but he saw tons of garbage and what he thought was a cereal killer. So he found this bowl of punch, but he realized... there was no punchline.
Why don't lesbians have sex in the morning?
Have you ever tried pulling apart a grilled cheese?
What does Joker say when someone gets angry at him for not liking oats?
"Hey, why so cereal?"
Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.
"Did you go to the biscuit eating championship?"
"Yea, it was crackers!"
Yo mama so stupid.
When she was in mandarin class, she asked, "Where are the mandarins? I'm hungry."
What do you call a cowboy with Down syndrome? A whipped potato.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
Ever heard of candies? Candies balls fit in your mouth.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why is Sonic so fat? He eats too many chili dogs.
Parents are like food—not all kids get them.
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!
I was watching TV with my brother, and a diabetes commercial came on saying, "I have type one diabetes, and I manage it well."
My brother said, "You want a cookie?"
Why can't a Muslim woman give head to an American cop?
She doesn't eat pigs.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
Liam Gallagher went into a café for a cup of tea. The assistant asked him if "he wanted a roll with it."