Food jokes
What is a cannibal's favorite vegetable?
- Ladies' Finger
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
I live in China and we have no food. We have to eat Chinese food, so I called my dog over.
What attracted Jeffrey Dahmer to abortion clinics?
- He smelled veal.
Why did the tomato cross the road?
To ketchup with his friends on the other side.
Strength
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
A doctor is telling three women what they are addicted to.
He says to the first one, "You are addicted to money, you named your daughter Penny."
He says to the second one, "You are addicted to food, you named your daughter Candy."
Then the third one whispers to her son, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
What do you call a broken chicken?
A broken chicken.
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
I love eggs!
Q: Where does a one-legged waitress work?
A: IHOP.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
Why can’t blind people eat fish? Because it’s sea food.
You’ll need a bib when you’re done eating my ribs.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair smoking weed?
A baked potato.
What do sex and food have in common?
My sister makes it better than my cousin.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.