Food jokes

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

What do gay horses eat?

Hay.

Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.

Omnom.

What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.

Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?

Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.

What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.

Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!

Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.

What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?

MEALS ON WHEELS :-)

Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?

Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.

Why did the plane crash?

Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.

What do skeletons say before they eat?

Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!