Food jokes
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.
I tried making vegetable soup yesterday, but I couldn’t fit the wheelchair in the pot.
What does a serial killer make for breakfast?
Scrambled legs and toes.
What looks like peanut butter and jelly, and makes a woman scream?
Afterbirth.
Only if onions were emo, they'd cut themselves.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
"Welcome to Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic, where last week's loss is this week's sauce."
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
Why did the African win the food eating contest?
Beginner's luck.
An chemist, a physicist, and a mathematician are stranded on an island when a can of food rolls ashore.
The chemist and the physicist come up with many ingenious ways to open the can. Then suddenly the mathematician gets a bright idea: "Assume we have a can opener..."
Why did everyone suggest that the cheetah eat all the pumpkins?
Because he cheated at everything!
The other day a man with some cheese and milk attacked me... how dairy!
I'll never forget my boss's last words: "We shall serve the best meat in our burgers!"
What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
It's easy to roast beef.
What is black and white, black and white, black and white and green?
Three zebras fighting over a pickle.
I like my bread how I like my wife: cold and stiff.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Quinn pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his whopper 🍆🍔.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
There are two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Phew, is it getting hot in here or is it just me?"
The other muffin says, "AAAAHHH!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"