Food jokes
Why were the cherries 🍒 crying?
Because their parents were in a jam.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
Two of the worst jokes ever.
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.
Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?
She was hit by a bus.
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer balls, two for under a buck!
Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Ketchup.
Ketchup who?
Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
Potato.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Omnom.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)