Food jokes

There was a person inside who needed help from the police, but the police changed their number, so he ordered a party with pizzas from 2 airplanes, but the pilots were stupid, so they put people instead of pizzas, and one landed on the 93rd floor and the 94th floor, literally.

What is the cheapest kind of meat?

Deer balls, two for under a buck!

Why'd Sally drop her ice cream?

She was hit by a bus.

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Ketchup.

Ketchup who?

Ketchup my slow tomatoes! 🍅😂

Yo mama is so fat when she sees a bus full of white people, she thinks it's a Twinkie, lmao xd.

If someone calls you, just say:

"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"

Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.

Potato.

Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.

Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.

Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?

You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.

But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!

I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!

My pal asked me why nobody wants to eat the spaghetti he makes in his restaurant.

Well, because it's impastable.

Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

Because he got hit by a bus!

What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?

Babies are healthier.

What did the French Fry 🍟 say to the Hamburger 🍔?

I guess that’s a wrap!

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.

A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"

And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"

What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?

Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.