Food jokes
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
Arby's fast food and abortion clinic: Your dead babies are our taters and gravy.
Three men were in a desert. One man was holding a jug, the 2nd was holding a paper bag, and the last was holding a car door. A man came around and asked the 1st why he had a jug. He said it was his water and if he got thirsty, he would take a drink.
Then he asked the second why do you have a paper bag? The guy said this is my packed lunch, so if I get hungry, I will eat my lunch.
Then he asked the last man why he has a car door and he said if he got hot he would roll down the window.
What do gay horses eat?
Hay.
A Nacho has a problem going on, and the Taco says to the Nacho, "Wanna taco 'bout it?"
And the Nacho says to the Taco, "It's nacho problem!"
Memes
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
Because he got hit by a bus!
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
What do you call having a 69 with a guy in a wheelchair?
MEALS ON WHEELS :-)
Why do orphans like apples? Because they get picked.
What's worse than sticking 12 raw oysters up your grandma's pussy and sucking them out?
Sticking 12 raw oysters up there and sucking out 13.
Omnom.
I just busted a nut. A ginger nut.
Hey guys, today's funniest prank: is when I poured a bunch of red wine into the chicken salad...to be honest, it was a TON of wine I poured in there! My family could not tell the difference at all! Anyway, bye, that's the prankster! Next time or see you next time!
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Welcome to Jimmy's orphanage and pizza shop, where today's loss is a sauce. How may I help you?
Your mom is so poor, she buys used food.
Why did the plane crash?
Because it was being flown by a loaf of bread.
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
I have a lot of eggcellent egg puns, get the yolk... Oh come on, don't be hard-boiled!