Food jokes
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Cereal.
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef!
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite crisps?
Microchips š
What does an emo kid and an apple have in common?
They both are hanging.
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
My mom gave me a box of chocolates, and she said life is like a box of chocolates, but then it kind of tastes like dog shit.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
Because it felt crummy.