Food jokes
what is the fastest land animal? the last chicken in a Kenyan village.
Don't touch my pickles - they are very picklish.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Four cows went to the county fair. They saw a sign that said that next year animals can enter a singing contest. They decided that they would enter next year. So they called their group the "4 Cs Quartet" since their names were Clementine, Candy, Cookie, and Columbine.
They discovered how they could win. After a discussion, they decided to eat as much corn as possible, so they would sing in perfect 4 part hominy.
Why do orphans get the small sized chip bags?
Because they don’t have a family to share it with. 😥
How do you quiet a baby down?
Make baby back ribs for dinner.
I would tell you a pizza joke, but it's too cheesy.
I need to call candy. What's candy? Candy can "bofe" if these balls fit in your mouth.
Which part of a vegetable is the hardest to eat?
The wheelchair.
What do you call a pool full of handicapped people?
Vegetable soup.
So a cupcake walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says to himself, "Damn, this is some good shit."
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sandwich?
I don't put my dick in a sandwich before I eat it.
Cereal.
Eggs are so egg-cellent that they are sunny-side up.
What did one bean say to the other bean?
How you bean?
Why did the teddy bear decide not to eat the turkey?
Because he was too stuffed.
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
Son: Mom, is it possible to make a strawberry cake for me?
Mom: No, that's impossible.
Son: But it is possible for your secret boyfriend, right?
Mom: No, no, please don't tell your dad. I will make a strawberry cake for you.
Son: Daddy has already tasted your sweet strawberry cake, so because of that, I felt jealous ^_^