Food jokes
What's the difference between babies and onions? I cry when I cut onions.
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
What is the difference between a small child and a watermelon?
One I eat on the daily and the other is a watermelon.
I talked to your doctor. He said you wasn’t going to make it because your stretch marks look like pieces of bacon.
Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they're all shellfish.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
What do you call a guy with a big dick that likes to eat fish?
Long John Silvers or Captain D's.
What's an old man's favorite food?
Wrinkled onions.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear.
Two Indians went to a fine restaurant. They ordered parathas with curry. HAHAHAHAHA
What did the cake say to the fork?
"Do you want a piece of me!!!"
What is Beethoven's favorite vegetable?
Beets.
Why are french fries rude?
What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?
Banana na na.
The chicken is actually a fruit because it is grown on a pole-tree.
Do you know what I found in my letter soup? A space.
Wanna hear a joke? You need some milk.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.