Food jokes
What does a tuna, piano, and a tub of glue have in common?
You can tune a piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
But what about the glue? said Bob I. I knew you would get stuck on that!
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
Aren't my egg yolks amazing? Don't they make you crack up? If not, I better scramble!
Chinese takeout $15.00, gas to get there $1.50. Getting home to find they've forgotten one of your dishes... rice-less!
Did you hear about that cheese factory that exploded in France?
There was nothing left but de Brie!
Daddy, why is this red soup so sweet?
Because your mother has diabetes.
Did you hear about the shark that ate a key shop?
I think it got lockjaw after that.
What's an egg's favorite phrase?
An eggspression.
When do eggs hatch?
At the CRACK of dawn!
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)
My kitchen was rearranged today. The tables have turned, and the steaks are higher.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
What goes in hard but comes out soft?
Gum.
The son margarine shows his father his test that he failed.
Father: Son, you can do butter!
Is your body from McDonald's, because I'm loving it?
If you have 20 apples and you ate 2, how many do you have left?
0 because you have 20 and take away 2, you have 0 left.
What does Stephen Hawking eat?
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
What’s white and crunchy and swings through trees?
A meringue-atang.