Food jokes
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!