Food jokes
What's fun to search for in investigation?
The Milky Way!
What did the bread say to the peanut butter? "I think your nuts."
"Peado van, peado van, stay away, peado van, peado van, take her away."
I can't afford food, I can't afford childcare, might as well just get the money out of her.
What's the motto for a pizza place that's also an abortion clinic: Your loss is our sauce.
Why are women like KFC? After you finish with the thigh and the breasts, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in.
I know this is a really bad poem, but I'll do it anyway 'cause I have nothing else to do.
'Twas so pretty a night, with people all asleep. Everyone's dreaming of that candy apple treat, and a palace. But alas! No, it's all a dream. Even eating ice cream, it's all a dream! Why can't I have this? Why can't I have that? BUT NO! It's just hitting you like a bat. YOU JUST HAVE TO HAVE IT, you say to yourself. All for me, all for me, and et cetera. It goes on and on. But why wish for riches? You're already rich enough. If you have a device, then take my advise, if you were poor you would have spent the money on food, like honey, not something that... OF ALL THINGS IS GOOGLE!
Like I said, it's really bad. :(
What do you call a group of chubby trans-genders?
Trans-fats.
What did one squirrel say to the other? "Do you have any nuts?"
Q: What can turn a fruit into a vegetable?
A: AIDS.
I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Pastor: I donโt normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
A girl asked, "Can I have some nuts too?"
Boy: "Sure, what ones ;)"
What is wrong with having chocolate for dessert? It tastes like shit, and I hate it.
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
"Gaining weight is gonna be a piece of cake."
What do cake and baseball have in common?
Both need batters.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple has a family tree.
What does a refrigerator and a gay male have in common?
Only one farts when you pull the meat out. ๐๐๐