Food jokes
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni
What flour do you give an orphan?
Self-raising.
Why do orphans have water in their cereal?
Because their dad never came home with the milk.
Maybe Soy Milk is just milk introducing itself in Spanish! (Soy means "I am" in Spanish).
What do suicidal people and apples have in common?
They both hang from trees.
What do Hostess Twinkies and the cock of a gay man have in common?
🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🐓 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍦 🍨 🍨 🍨 🍨
What do you call an epileptic in a lettuce field?
Seizure salad.
Why did a minister who is a Christian nationalist and a bisexual man give anonymous blowjobs to physically handicapped gay men under the handicapped stalls inside the men's restrooms at a rest area?
He wanted to eat footlong hotdogs for lunch at the rest area, but he wanted a sample first (taster).
What is the best thing about being an orphan?
All bags of chips are family-sized!
I went down to my fridge to grab my dinner. I said to the children, "Who's next?"
Do you know why in France there is a cheese named "fromage à râpe?"
Because the cheese got raped.
Why did the Nurse bring a red pen to work? To draw Blood.
Why did the M&M go to school? To be a smartie.
Why did the monkey bring a ladder to school? To be in highschool.
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!