Food jokes
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple actually gets picked.
Why can’t orphans eat cereal?
It says, "Family size."
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
What’s a homeless person's favorite food?
Why do you let your dads sleep so they don't get grumpy and eat your dinner?
A chicken is delicious.
What is the cheetah's favorite candy? Cheetos.
I don't like marriage. It's just like soup, as soon as you're done spooning it, it all cools off.
What is the best way to make a leaf?
Go down, back around, and stir up a tree. Make it spin, watch again. Oven baking, ding, we're done!
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
What do you call expired milk?
The Milky Way.
I didn’t eat breakfast because I’m starving myself.
What did the orange say to the other orange?
I orange you glad!
When you ask your friend if he thinks lunch is good, but he says that he doesn't taste anything.
Why did the cow lick your mum?
Because she had a cream pie.
Here's a list of puns, not all of them are mine.
1. Smaller babies may be delivered by stork, but the heavier ones need a crane.
2. Yesterday, I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m okay, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
3. My sister bet that I couldn’t build a car out of spaghetti. You should’ve seen her face when I drove pasta.
4. Getting the ability to fly would be so uplifting.
5. Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
6. Why was the cookie sad? Because his mom was a wafer long!
7. Why didn’t the cat go to the vet? He was feline fine!
8. How do you make a good egg-roll? You push it down a hill!
9. That baseball player was such a bad sport. He stole third base and then just went home!
10. My parents said I can’t drink coffee anymore. Or else they’ll ground me!
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple gets picked.
Chicken
Did you hear about the Italian chef who died?
He pasta-way.