Food jokes
If someone calls you, just say:
"This is Peter's abortion clinic and pizza restaurant, where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!"
What do you get when you cross a German and a Mexican? A “BeanerSchnitzel”!
Did you hear about the new Chinese food?
It is called: “Wuhan Fried Bats”!
Life is like a box of chocolates. It gets finished pretty quickly if you're a fat guy.
Why do orphans eat cereal without milk?
Because their dad never came home from the store.
I cried when my dad cut onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Why do gay men want to eat each other's meat because meat is meat, and man has to eat meat?
What do gay men like to suck each other's bananas because they like the ice cream filling?
Why don't heterosexual men want to suck bananas because they taste like octopus and squid?
Why don't heterosexual 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 👨 suck a 🍌 because 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 🍌 tastes like 🐙?
Yo mama so fat, a bus ran into her and she said, "WHO THREW THAT TWINKIE AT ME?!"
What happened to the woman who slipped in a seafood restaurant?
Um...I don't know what?
She slipped on a mussel!
Why did the Indian man eat a cow? Because he wanted to be fat.
Ayo, the pizza here-
OH N*GGA!!
What’s the difference between an orphan and a sugar donut?
People want donuts.
Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock knock. Who's there? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
What does a Catholic Priest and a commercial from the 80s have in common? They both ask people, "Where's the meat?"