Lil Johnny went to school and said, "Teacher, if you let me poop my pants, I will let you have my dad and his money. Will you do it, Mrs. Johnson?"
You might be innocent, but if you carry a large sum of cash in public, the cops won’t believe that.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
If you are poor, get money.
You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.
I saw a poor man and I gave him money, and he said, "Nope, I don't need money." So I gave him money, and he punched me for no reason.
My roasts aren't funny. At least this shit gets me money.
I gun give money.
You are so fat you were able to occupy Wall Street all by yourself.
They call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me poor and ugly.
My friend lives in a caravan park. His parents named him Money because they thought it was a type of currency.
"Does this make any cents?" a man says.
"Oh, it does make cents," me. <-- thing: Lemin"aid" <-- another joke.
Once I was riding my bike and saw a $5. I jumped off and died.
Yaxaas?
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
A man gave me 1 dollar that was ripped and laughed away. I wonder why he did that.
He did that on purpose to trick me, then I met him in the threes.
Clear all your debts with one easy payment. Buy a shotgun and blow your head off.
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?
Boosterthon asks to raise up to $35,000.
I donate $35,000. I ask, "What's my prize?" Boosterthon worker says, "Here's a headband." Me: "I donated the goal, so is that it?" Boosterthon worker: "No, it's $35,000 per person." I pass out. Boosterthon worker goes back to work like it is a regular day.
