Finance jokes

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."

But he could only get 1 trade.

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

If I had a loonie for every degree I have, I wouldn't have a loonie.

Why do you pay cash for the metro train in Newcastle upon Tyne?

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

What's the similarity between your money and your life?

It just keeps going down.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

What is a tree that does not exist?

A money tree.