Finance jokes

Why did the rapper go to the bank?

To make some DEPOSITS of RHYMES.

Why did the rapper go to the bank? (Part 2)

To WITHDRAW some BEATS.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

Jay-Z and B.

It's illegal to go onto someone's property, demand money that they might not have while wearing all black, and threaten horrible things if they don't pay.

But when the IRS does it, it's perfectly fine. HMMMMM . . .

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.

What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?

High interest!

Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.

What time does the man go to the bank?

8 AM.

I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.