Finance jokes

What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?

He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.

A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

"My paternal uncle died three months ago."

"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My maternal uncle died two months ago."

"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

"My father died last month."

"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

"Then what's the matter?"

With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"

How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.

What time does the man go to the bank?

8 AM.

I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.

Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.

One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.

I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.

I used to work at a bank, then I lost interest.

A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.

I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

I have a lot of money, but I don't waste it.

So people call me poor until they see my bank account.

What's the similarity between your money and your life?

It just keeps going down.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

I can make a living with the "Treat Yo self" budget.

Yet I can’t use the "Help yo self" budget.

Ever heard of the currency TNT?

All Arab economies are booming with so much TNT!

I was digging in a garden once and found a chest full of gold. I wanted to show my wife, but then I thought about why I was digging in the first place.

When the guy came in with a gun to rob the store, I said: "Hey, can I borrow that?"

He says "yes." Me, over here, walking to the cashier and saying: "Goodbye!" He screams: "Have mercy!"

I say: "No, not to you, to me. Say goodbye." He says: "No, don't shoot yourself!" It was too late.

Roses are red, violets are blue, in the middle of the day, give me money, you!