Finance jokes
Your family is so cheap that they won't even pay for the child support to keep you.
You're so poor, you only got 2 jokes.
What is playing with you?
What time is it when you stand on a pile of money in the bank?
High interest!
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
I lost my job at the bank today. A lady told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Why can't orphans play Monopoly?
Because they can't put a house.
Why did the number 10 make friends with 0? Because you have $100 dollars.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back.
The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
How to get free robux: buy robux to make a game to get more robux.
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
What time does the man go to the bank?
8 AM.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her... she had really bad balance.
I thought @$$hole Trump was a businessman, not a broke man.
A rich man paid for a trip to space, but he couldn't go because the rocket was damaged. He received a refund and an apology.
I lost $10,000, so I killed my piggy bank, so I get a real pig and money which my money is fake, but the janitor said it is real, so I killed myself and turned into a real human.
One day I was working at the bank, doing my job. Then suddenly a woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over. Then I told her that her balance is un-balanced.
When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.
I asked my friend what happened to him?
His balance shifted.