Yo mama like a penny: two faced, worthless and in everybody’s pants

I go into get a prostate exam, I’m nervous but the doctor says its all natural and needs to be done.

So he pulls down my pants and sticks one finger up my ass. I feel it go deeper inside , feeling for abnormalities.

That’s when I realize his hands are on my shoulders.

I tried to explain to my 4 year old son that it’s perfectly normal to accidentally poop your pants. – But he’s still making fun of me.

Chuck Norris and Superman had a bet. The loser had to wear their underwear on their pants.

What do catholic priests and JCPennys have in common?

Little boys pants half off.

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?" Bob responds, "No, I haven’t. Do they call him that because he runs fast?" Jeff replies, “Nah, they call him that because he doesn’t wear pants.”

What pants do you wear to church… HOLE-Y ONESS

Papa: Johnny Johnny Johnny: Yes Papa? Papa: Open wide Johnny: HAHAHA Papa: unzips pants Johnny: crying No Papa

When your uncle drops a nickel but the only thing he really drops is his pants

What did the shoes say to the pants? SUP, BRITCHES!

A puma was making another puma laugh that puma that was laughing said “Stop making me laugh I’m gonna puma pants”

what’s the difference between jam and jelly? You can’t jelly your way into someone’s pants

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree? You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.

No one knows how big Hawkins dick is - He was never able to pull down his pants.

What do lady dogs (bitches) wear to work?

Pant Suits

Yo mamma’s so fat she had to pull down her pants to get to her wallet

Why does Trump always ensure he has a second pair of pants with him every weekend?

In case he get a hole in one.

Me: i must have a mirror in my jeans, cause i see u in my pants

“TINY HANDS, EVEN TINIER BRAIN”

(live comedy club) Foul Mouthed Trump Hating Comic :

…“Hey how 'bout that Donald Trump chump, what the f... up with that dude, man ? Geeeezus, he got some kuh-razy ass shit spewing endlessly out that pie-hole, 24/8!” (< leap week, muthafukas !) . . . “I mean, even his last name rhymes with shit that’s synonymous for being f...ed up, for instance”…

STUMP : TEENY DICK

BUMP : TINY TIT

GUMP : DIMWITTED MOVIE IDIOT GUY

MUMP : A F...ED UP CHILDREN’S DISEASE

LUMP : IF IT’S MALIGNANT, YOU’RE KINDA F...ED

UMP : OFTEN MAKES TERRIBLE CALLS

RUMP : AN ASS

DUMP : A PILE OF SHIT THAT CAME OUT OF AN ASS

HUMP : SOMETHING DADDY DID TO HIM DAILY THROUGHOUT CHILDHOOD

PUMP : SEE “HUMP”

. . . and last, but definitely not least –

JUMP : JUMP INTO A DEEP HOLE MOTHER F...ER, AND GO TO HELL !!

… “Well that’s about it for me as my explosive diarrhea is about ready to take a turn for the worse !! …(splort!, plop!)… OOOOPS !! … sniff,sniff … Ewww !” (audience roars) “Fuhhhhk !.. I better go, 'cause I just went !! … Ha! ha! ha!”

…“Thank You Lazies and Gerbilmen ! Good Night !!” …

(endless laughter, guffaws, cheers, jeers, queers, beers, pants pee-ing, beaters beating, pepper sprayin’, guns poppin’)

“OH LORDY !!.. HELL HATH FINALLY COMETH, AND ARMAGETTIN’ THE F... OUTTA HEEE!!”

(quick curtain call, and off to waiting taxi……….with the windows down) …Amen.

what do you call a twinkie with two pairs of pants? double trousers

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