Price jokes

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."

When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."

What's the cheapest kind of meat you can buy?

Deer balls. They're under a buck.

What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well, beer nuts are 49 cents, but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer, you won’t understand it.)

Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.

Due to the rising cost of ammunition, there will be no warning shots.

"Waiter, my steak is too skinny."

"It's a strip steak, sir."

"At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"

Your mom is so fat that if she sits on top of a gas station, she will lower the prices.

My ex-boyfriend tried to scan himself at the supermarket checkout for fun.

“See how I can’t scan myself? It’s because I’m priceless.”

I decided I’d scan my wrist too, just for fun.

Found out I’m worth $3.97.

Man to woman: "Would you sleep with me for one million dollars?"

Woman: "Sure."

Man: "How about for ten dollars?"

Woman: "What do you think I am?"

Man: "We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price."

For sale: Dead canary.

Not going cheep.

The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.

Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

I'm worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

Kenney lost his virginity to a $10 hooker, but he only had to pay $5. She was his sister, so he got the family discount.

Gan cube prices?