I know Im valuable, I come with a barcode ;)
My friend while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: You're priceless When we get to the checkout: I'm actually $2.50
What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Well beer nuts are 49 cents but deer nuts are just under a buck. (If you don’t understand the genders of deer you won’t understand it.)
Due to the rising cost of ammunition there will be no warning shots
For sale: Dead Canary.
Not going cheep.
Man to woman: Would you sleep with me for one million dollars? Woman: Sure. Man: How about for ten dollars? Woman: What do you think I am? Man: We’ve already established what you are. All we’re doing is negotiating price.
I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”
Im worth something, I got a barcode on my arm!
This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say thats a fair retail.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. 12.99 from Ikea.
Well at least my adoption fee cost more than you
What is the cheapest kind of meat?
Deer Balls, two for under a Buck!
Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked
now it’s $3.99
When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell em for double the price!
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
How do you find out the price of an emo? You scan his barcode
I went to the shops yesterday, I bought roast chicken, eggs and duck. The cashier read $45.99 it was an eggcelent price.
**** (A cell phone in an upscale gym locker room in NYC rings and the man puts it on loud speaker next to him ... everyone else in the room stops to listen): Man : Hello? Woman : Hi honey, it's me. Are you at the club? Man : Yes. Woman : I’m out shopping and found a beautiful leather coat. It’s only $2,000 – is it OK if I buy it? Man : Sure, go ahead if you like it that much. Woman : I also stopped by that new Lexus dealership and saw one of the new models I really like – it’s on an opening special. Man : How much? Woman : $90,000. Man : Wow! OK, but for that price I want it with all the options. Woman : Great! Oh, and one more thing ... I was just talking to Jamie and found out that the house we wanted to buy last year is back on the market ... they’re asking $980,000 for it. Remember it was well over a million when we looked at it? Man : I dunno. Make an offer for $900,000 and they’ll probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $80,000 if that’s what you really want. Woman : OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much! Man : I love you to. **** (The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room were staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open.) The man turns around and says : “Anyone know whose phone this is”?
Your moms so fat, when she sat on walmart, she lowered the prices!
Yo mama so fat, when she sat on Walmart, the prices went down.
