Price jokes

What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?

Dollar a pop!

Get it?

Ever since convicted New York State felon Donald John Trump has taken office, the Canada-US border has been a mess of tariffs, counter-tariffs and boycotts.

And where does it end? I just got served a salad with 500 Islands in the dressing instead of a thousand. The price was the same.

Did you hear about the blonde that worked at the Dollar Store? She called for a price check.

You're so poor not even Dollar Tree has your prices.

Katie Price's answer for everything is darkness.

She isn't a dull person, but playing eye spy with my little eye with Harvey is just way too easy.

Gan cube prices?

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Why do emo kids cost so much?

Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.

Why don't stags buy drugs? Because they are too deer.

Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.

When life gives you lemons... call them yellow oranges and sell 'em for double the price!

A married woman is having an affair. Whenever her lover comes over, she puts her nine-year-old son in the closet.

One day, the woman hears a car in the driveway and puts her lover in the closet with her son. Inside the closet, the little boy says, “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Yes, it is,” the man replies. “You wanna buy a baseball?” the little boy asks. “No thanks,” the man replies. “I think you do want to buy a baseball,” the little extortionist continues. “OK. How much?” the man replies, after considering the position he was in. “Twenty-five dollars,” the little boy replies. “TWENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?!” the man repeats. “That’s awful expensive,” but because of the position he was in, agreed to the price.

The following week, the lover is visiting the woman again when she hears a car in the driveway, and again places her lover in the closet with her little boy. “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” the boy starts off. “Yes, it is,” replies the man. “Wanna buy a baseball glove?” the little boy asks. “OK. How much?” the hiding lover responds, acknowledging his disadvantage. “Fifty dollars,” the boy replies, and the transaction is completed.

The next weekend, the little boy’s father says, “Hey, son. Go get your ball and glove and we’ll play some catch.” “I can’t. I sold them,” replies the little boy. “How much did you get for them?” asks the father, expecting to hear the profit in terms of lizards and candy. “Seventy-five dollars,” the little boy says. "SEVENTY-FIVE DOLLARS?! That’s thievery! I’m taking you to the church right now. You must confess your sin and ask for forgiveness," the father explains as he hauls the child away.

At the church, the little boy goes into the confessional, draws the curtain, sits down, and says “It’s dark in here, isn’t it?” “Don’t you start that crap in here,” the priest says.

Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked.

Now it’s $3.99.

My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.

Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95

What is the cheapest kind of meat?

Deer balls, two for under a buck!

This Fairy Tail shirt is only $9.99! Guess you can say that's a fair retail.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

I saw this advert in a window that said: “Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.” I thought, “I can’t turn that down.”

Your mom's so fat, when she sat on Walmart, she lowered the prices!

There was this guy who asked a girl how much her hand jobs are. "$25k." How much are your blowjobs? "$50k." How much do you charge to have sex on the street? REPLY: "I would if I had a pussy."