Finance jokes
Do chiropractors have to pay back taxes?
Only when they file jointly.
Why did the credit card go to jail?
'Cuz it was guilty as charged!
What chicken crossed the road? The donkey of the moneys.
Your hairline looks like the inflation in America.
What do you call a rich Chinese person?!? Kaching!
What wastes your money as you earn it?
Women.
How did the Java programmer's son get rich?
Because of inheritance.
Accounting Chapter 12: Long-term Liabilities (FULL TEXT)
My girlfriend left me today for spending my own money. What a bitch! I spend a fair amount of money on her for her clothes and Air Force Ones, but as soon as I spend $100 on hookers, she leaves me.
There is a similarity between my wallet and an onion.
They always make me cry.
STORY OF 2 PEOPLE NOT ME:
Girlfriend: What would you do if I won the lottery?
Boyfriend: I would take half and leave you.
Girlfriend: Ok cool. I won 12 dollars here's 6 and don't come back.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help check her balance. So I pushed her over.
Why did the rapper go to the bank?
To make some cash flows.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
And Sterling has taken a dive.
That's all for financial news, back to the football.
Why can’t orphans buy ice cream?
They don’t have money.
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
What is the difference between a prostitute and a wife?
A prostitute will fulfill your needs with your money; a wife will fulfill her needs with your money.
One man said, "Do you need 20 bucks?"
The other said, "Do you have that many?"
My mom and I went to a bank. Hard to say I never heard of it. The name is "Addison Banks."
LOL