Finance jokes
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Daddy, good morning, please, I want too, but Davido's second-hand towel is 2.5 million.
Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake
What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?
Fund razor.
College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you, or they'll send your kid back.
Memes
You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.
I was at the bank yesterday.
A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Yo mama's so stupid, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
Hairline got repossessed.
Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.
Your teeth are sponsored by gap.
Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?
A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.
How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.
FEW!!!!!!!
What's the difference between a government and a pawn shop?
They lower you.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.
The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.
What is the richest kind of air?
A millionaire.
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.
What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?
"UNBLINGABLE"