Finance jokes

Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake

So a lady came up to me today at the bank, and she asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Your teeth are sponsored by gap.

Who makes more money, a drug dealer or a prostitute?

A prostitute, because she can always wash her crack and sell it again.

How to make the kissing in a tree recognizable: me and you k.i.s.s.i.n.g., tree sitting, wedding, love, then comes love, then comes baby in the carriage, then hate comes, divorce and purse.

FEW!!!!!!!

Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?

He had a 6 cents of humor.

The orphan had to earn money because he/she didn't have parents to give him/her an allowance.

What is it called when young sheep bet?

LAMbling.

(haven't uploaded yesterday cuz couldn't think of a joke)

What is the richest kind of air?

A millionaire.

I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.

What do you call an emo hosting a charity event?

Fund razor.

Why do orphans like Monopoly?

To cry about the money they can’t earn in real life.

Which nut is worth the most? A cashew.

What's the most expensive haircut you can get? Chemotherapy.

You're so poor that homeless people feel sorry for you.

I was at the bank yesterday.

A lady asked to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

What do you get when you cross a rapper with an accountant?

A rhyme scheme that's all about the Benjamins!

Why did the rapper become a banker?

Because he wanted to make some BIG BANK DEPOSITS!

Why don't rappers ever become bankers?

Because they always break the BARS!

What do you call a rapper who can't afford jewelry?

"UNBLINGABLE"