Did you know that towels are the leading cause of dry skin

So, some thieves robbed me the other day. They took everything I owned, except for the soap, towels, and deodorant. Dirty bastards.

Paddys beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 yrs they have been married . The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex and a cool breeze may help . Being a bit of a cheapo , he decides not to buy a fan , but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act . After half an hour, still no sign of success so his mate suggests swapping places . ’ I’ll have a try Paddy , you waft the towel ' Paddy agrees , and after two or three minutes Paddys wife has a moment of sexual pleasure screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years . Paddy taps his mate Mick on teh shoulder and says ‘And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel’ !

So, I got a paper towel roll, ripped it, but started to fart when I ripped it off, and stopped farting when I got it off the rool, and then I said; “I guess that’s why it’s called ripping one!”

Game of Thrones season 8

I was talking to a close friend that was Islamic.

He said he was being shipped to an amazing training.

I asked “where are you going”

He said “Camp Bin Laden”

I asked “what do they do there”

He answered “they got bomb training and hand to hand combat training. Plus the got arts and crafts.”

I asked “what do you mean by arts and crafts?”

He said “see this towel on my head” I nodded “I made it out of boxer jokes”

What do you call a washed vegetable?

A disabled kid that needs a towel.

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