Father jokes
Why did your father go away?
'Cause he needs da milk.
I would make a dad joke, but I don't have a dad to joke about.
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
Once, my father came home and found me in front of a roaring fire.
That made my father very mad, as we didn't have a fireplace.
"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
Why can't orphans have relationships?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
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An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.