"Uh daddy harder," the orphan said. Oh wait, he doesn’t have a daddy.
Father Jokes
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Some guy came to me and said, "I'm your dad's friend. He asked me to pick you up."
*Laughing freaking hard* and told him, "Did you dig the grave?"
There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.
Why can't orphans have relationships?
Because they have no one to call "daddy."
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend."
The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better."
"Thanks Dad," the son says.
The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
What does a man with 20 children do now?
Now he eats sausages even with cellophane.
You're so fat that when you were born, the nurse mistook you for the father.
You marry a single mother with an adult daughter. Now, your father marries the daughter. So, your father is your son now, because he is married to your daughter-in-law. But as your father's son and your father's father, you're your own grandpa!
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An orphan saw a tornado, and he thought he saw his mom, but then he realized it was a corpse and said, "Hi, Dad!"
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
My father died in 9/11. It's such a shame. He was a great pilot. 😔
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
I wish my dad was home. I haven’t seen him since the shot of 2008.
Q: What movie do orphans hate?
A: Fatherhood.
Why do orphans love church?
They finally have a father.
Everyone: So, wait, let me get this straight. Feminists want to cancel Father's Day because it is offensive to single mothers.
Feminists: Correct.
Everyone: Then what the f*** is the point of Mother's Day?
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
I saw an orphan and I said, "Yo."
He said, "What do you want?"
I said, "To be your new father."
"Really??!" the orphan said.
Me: Lol, no.
Orphan *Jumps into street*
