Family jokes

What did the orphan say to the blind kid?\n\n"Hey, we both can't see our parents!"

A manager asked a black employee to work overtime. The employee initially agreed until he was told it would be without pay.

The employee responded with, "You know what happened last time my family worked for free?"

"What happened?" said the manager.

"A civil war."

What is harder than steel?

My cousin at the family reunion.

Girl: "Dad."

Dad: "Do I love you?"

Girl: "I am a prostitute."

Dad: "Yes."

Woman 2: "Dad."

Dad: "Right?"

Woman 2: "I'm a woman too."

Father: "God, do you love children?"

Boy: "Yes..."

What type of chip can orphan's not eat? The Lay's Family Size chips!

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

Let's see what the orphans are gonna tell their parents about this: "Hey you buttheads, you stink!"

Looks like they didn't tell their parents.

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

Why can't the orphan take a family photo?

Answer: The orphan has no family to take a picture with.

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

When we take a family photo, you are the background.

I said, "Are you half left or half right?"

"Neither! In-between."

"What?! In between your mom's tits when you go to sleep with her at night?"

Once you've had the mother,

Don't tell me you've never been tempted to do the daughter.

Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.

What is the favorite movie of orphans?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why can't orphans be home schooled?

Because they have no parent to home school them.

The adoption center threw a party. Why? 'Cause the parents weren't home.

Yo mama is so ugly that Rick Astley gave her up.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

"There is no way you can fit in there."

"Says who?"

"Your mom."

"When?"

"Last night."

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