Family jokes
I'm 5'6", and my mom is 5'1" and 1/2. She always says she's going to get a suicide vest and fill it with bricks and squish me. I tell her good luck.
And when she tries to hug me, she says, "You're too fucking tall, kid," so I usually reply with "Go get a stool then."
Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.
Say, "Moommy."
Your hairline and my grandpa go wayyyyy back.
What is the difference between an Apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Memes
What can Miles Morales do that Spiderman can't?
Hug his parents.
Orphan: I'm hungry.
Dad: Let's go to KFC.
Orphan 2: Boy, you don't got a dad!
Why don't orphans need parent approval for their wedding?
Because they never came home.
Why can orphans only have iPhones 14s? Because they can't have a home button.
I think my dad loves jokes.
Because he laughs when he looks at me.
Your sister is so short, she needs to roll up her panties.
Steve Kerr really named his son Nick.
Orphan: Hey, where's the milk?
Dad: . . .
“In yo mama.”
One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...
If you're having a bad day, just slap an orphan. Who are they going to tell? Their parents?
How are baseball and an orphan different?
A baseball game you can do a home run.
Why do orphans miss Mother’s Day? Because they don’t have a mother to give to!
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.
Bin Laden's relatives were killed in a plane crash, lol.