I know everything about Walt Disney! How he died, how his mom and dad died, how his kids died, when he was born, where he was born, and how he was born. 😏
Family Jokes
When you see your mom.
Me: bruh
Her: Are you serious right now bro?
Me: Yeah no shit.
Her: *slaps me*
Why can't an orphan play soccer on the home side of the field? They don't have a home!
Why do orphans like tigers? I don't know, you tell me.
If you make a joke about me, I'll tell my mom.
Orphans actually have an advantage. Nobody can call them motherless or test-tube babies in an argument.
My mom was telling me about different pastas. So many pastabilities!
If my mom decides to get Chick-fil-A for dinner, and when I decide to eat my family for dinner, is that called cannibalism?
Why can't orphans play baseball? They can't find home.
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why did your mom cross the road?
You were on the same side as her, and she wanted to get as far away from you as possible.
What do apple trees and orphans have in common?
The apples get picked.
Your hairline goes so far back your dad didn't leave.
Grandma: When we go to a wedding, whispers, "You're next."
At a funeral, I whisper, "You're next."
Couldn't be me being an orphan.
What is the difference between a baseball player and an orphan?
The baseball player has a home to run back to.
On April Fool's, go to an orphanage and tell them that their parents are here to pick them up.
What do orphans get on Xmas?
Lonely.
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
I saw a girl at my job and we ended up fucking, then the test came back and I have hives from my sister.
