Family jokes

Do you ever look at someone and think, "You must have been conceived at a family reunion"?

Why don't orphans know how to play baseball? Because they don't know where how is.

What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?

A pap smear.

What's an orphan's least favorite T.V. show?

Family Guy.

Why do orphans have 363 days in a year?

Because they have no Father's or Mother's days.

Why do orphans have a single chip? Because they don't have a full bag.

What is the favorite movie of orphans?

Spider-Man: Homecoming.

Why can't orphans open a website?

Because they don't have a home page.

Why is an orphan so bad at baseball?

Because they can't make it to home.

Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.

I'll call you later. Don't call me later, call me Dad.

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

He huffed and he puffed, but instead of blowing the house, he choked it down with his mom.

Your mom.

My bro’s parents died, but he didn’t know why.

Turns out they died because he was a failure, and he would be going to an orphanage in 4 days.

Spell "Peppa." Okay. P. E. P. P. A. Hahaha! You said peepee.

I tried this with my sister Makenna because she loves Peppa Pig and has a backpack of it. So I told her to spell her backpack's letters and tricked her... And she is only four years old and my secret is I am only eight years old.

My Mom said she's going to kill me if I don't stop using my computer.

While I was waiting for your mum to waddle past, I missed a whole season of my TV show!

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Friend: Hi.

Me: Do you know how lost their dad is?

Friend: Me?

Me: Damn, no, not you.

Friend: Then who?

Me: The orphan kid.

I guess we're the same.