Family jokes

Roses are red, violets are blue, people think that you’re fat, until they saw your mom.

Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.

My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.

She said help, so I kicked her.

What flour do you buy an orphan?

Self-raising flour.

What do you call an orphan who likes football?

Because someone will actually give him something.

The orphan can’t play soccer because he doesn’t know where home is, and his school is too dumb to learn.

What do orphans get when they go to a bank alone?

What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?

The apple gets picked.

The way ladies cheat nowadays is very alarming.

She might give birth to twins, but each twin having a different father. 😭

Yo momma's so stupid, her family tree is a telephone pole.

You only put your user name under Daddyboy_01 because your dad left you, hahahah!

Why don't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.

I was at the park the other day and sat down on the bench next to a mum and her daughter, and she asked which one was my kid, and I said I haven't decided yet.

Why do orphans commit crimes?

Because they want to be wanted.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they can't hit a home run.

I was crying at school because my grandpa died. My friends asked what his last words were. I told them his last words were, "Are you still holding the ladder?"

What's the best competition to do with an orphan?

Which orphan had their parent for the longest?

My mom loves balls.

But my dad has been gone for the last 4 years.

What do orphans get for Christmas?

Lonely.

What do you call an orphan?

Kyan.