Family jokes
Why can’t the orphan play baseball?
It can’t find home.
My parents used to make me and my siblings apologize to the ground when we stomped.
If I had done "it," I would have gotten SO many apologies.
Why can't an orphan be a criminal?
They aren't wanted.
Why can't orphans go to school?
They don't have a home to go to.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they didn’t have a home.
Me at the dinner table
Bully: How is your girlfriend?
Me: I don't have one!
Bully: I know!
Me: How are your parents?
*Walks out of orphanage*
Dad: Are you gay?
Kid: Yes.
10 days later.
Kid: I’m going to my girlfriend's house.
Dad: I thought you were gay?
Kid: What’s wrong with you? He’s the girly girl of our relationship, dumba**.
Dad: Don’t swear and okay, bud.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come back.
Why don't orphans play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Orphan: "I get all the A pluses and y'all bad!"
And then I told him: "If you feel so special, try telling your parents. You can't, can you?"
When the teacher says she'll call your parents but you're an orphan.
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Dad, I love you.
Son, I love you.
Your mum's foreheads.
What is an orphan's favorite show?
"Full House."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Three men were lost in the desert and found a genie who granted each of them a wish.
The 1st man wished he was home with his family. The 2nd man wished he was home with his family, and the 3rd man wished they were all back together again.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Why can't orphans have a home button on their phone?
Because they don't have homes.