Family jokes
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
So a kid was hanging out with his mom and this man comes up to him and said, "Hi, I'm your new dad." The kid did not think about it, and then he did and said, "But I already have a dad." The mom said, "That was not your real dad."
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
Me: What do you call an orphan?
Friend: Homeless.
A young boy asked his Dad, "Was it true that we come from a Stork?"
Dad said, "It is, Son."
Son says, "Who fucks a Stork?"
Memes
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple always gets picked!
Why don't orphans learn about ancient Egypt? They don't know what mummies are.
I don't got free candy. It costs child support.
What’s the difference between a mistake and an orphan?
At least the mistake was loved.
One day my mom told me not to be an actor. I said, "But mommy, I will make a lot of money!"
Rapunzel's hair is longer than your dad's existence.
How do orphans have names because they don't have anyone to give them names?
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they do not know where home is.
I started crying when Dad was chopping onions.
Onions was a good dog.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apples get picked.
Why do orphans hate plane rides?
Because there’s no home to come back to.
What were the balloon's last words to his Father?
"Watch me, Pop!"
Why are orphans so fond of shadows?
They're the only thing that accompanies them always.
What do orphans get for Christmas?
Lonely.
Why didn't the orphan play video games with his friends?
Because his parents wouldn't let him.