Break up jokes
Guys, someone told me to describe my ex as a shop. Boi, he's not a shop! I found him at the lost and found. But if he was one, he'd be the drugstore.
Why did the parachute break up with the skydiver?
Because it was tired of being taken for granted every time things fell apart.
What do you call a Titan who can't swim?
Titanic!
Imagine the Titanic with a lisp. It would be unthinkable. My version is imagine the Titanic with a lisp, it would be unsinkable.
What did the front half of the Titanic say to the other half when it hit the iceberg? I'm breaking up with you.
Why did the booty break up with the fart?
It was just too much GASLIGHTING.
How do you break up a fight between two gay men?
Say, "Can you get straight to the point?"
Roses are red, Violets are blue, We're breaking up because I never loved you.
What's the fastest way to break up a bingo game in Baghdad?
You shout out, "B-52!"
"Gwen don't want break up! Please talk to me!"
What hurts the most? 😹
A. Breaking up before chewing.
B. Breaking up after chewing.
Doctor Seuss break up lines:
"One fish, two fish, blue fish, red fish, I'm breaking up with you, bitch."
Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.
I’m breaking up with you, bitch.
"My friend and her boyfriend were kissing until she puts her tongue down his throat, and what happens next is really weird."
The tongue gets stuck in his throat and starts to guh-guh-gughhh trying to get her tongue out of his throat, but it cumssssss out with spit all over his tongue, then they break up because he didn't want that to happen ever again...:/
Why did you and Sarah break up?
'Cause she cheetahed on me.
Why did the emo break up with her boyfriend?
He didn't wanna hang out.
My boyfriend thinks he’s hilarious.
Him: How do you break things?
Me: You break things up.
Him: Okay.
Me: Is everything okay?
Him: We’re a twig. We’re breaking up.
Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? - Because he needed some space.
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
How do you break up blind people in a fight? Scream, "I put my money on the guy with the knife!"
What did the autistic kid say to his girlfriend after they broke up?
"I thought what we had was special!"