Evers jokes

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for Christmas.

He said it was the most violent book he ever read.

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

Ever seen the show Naked and Afraid? That’s what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

A guy went to a bar and said to a friend that he found a girl on the railroads and said they had the best sex ever.

His friend asked, "Did you get any head?"

The guy said, "No, I couldn't find it."

When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?

Hiroshima, Japan 1946.

My dad died in 9/11.

He was the best pilot I ever knew.

Today was the worst day ever! My brother got run over, and I lost my driver's license!

Two boys are wandering in the woods, playing games.

Suddenly, they come across a naked lady, and one of the boys starts running. The other chases after him and asks: "Why did you start running?"

The boy replies with: "My mom said if I ever see a naked lady, then I would turn to stone. And I can already feel a part of me turning hard."

A cop saw an old lady carrying two sacks. He asked the lady what she was doing. She opened one bag and shows a bunch of cash.

"How did you get all this?" asked the cop.

"Well, I live behind a golf course, and my backyard has many holes in its fence. Since there are no bathrooms nearby, the golfers stick their dicks through the holes and piss onto my hard, and that keeps killing my flowers. So, I grabbed my hedge clippers, and when they stick it through, I grab their dick and yell, '10 bucks right now or it comes clean off!' After that, nobody pees in my yard ever again."

The cop responded with, "Dang. But what about the other bag?"

She said, "Not everybody paid."

What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?

Go for the juggler!

Daughter: Mommy, what ever happened to Steven Hawking?

Mother: He died.

Daughter: How did he die?

Mother: He never got recharged.

I gave my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. Next week he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

There's a lot of talk about starting families, but no one ever talks about finishing what they started.

You aren't alone. If you ever need to chat, I'm here. From one person to another. I hate this condition. I wish we didn't struggle.

Q: Have you ever felt a window?

A: Did you feel the pane?

A mother and son were in the backyard, and the son finished building a shed. The mother says, "You're the best husband ever."

Well, if someone ever calls you gay 🌈🏳️‍🌈, just say, "Well, at least I'm straighter than the pole your mommy dances on." 🤣🖕

Dark humor is like a kid with cancer.

It never gets old.

I gave Caillou bleach, now he is paler than ever. >:)

The worst joke ever.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.