Evers jokes

Ever heard of iLadies? I laid deez nutz on yo' face!

Dad, am I adopted?

NO! Why would I ever choose you?

I was walking down the street when I saw this dude just vibing. He was telling every guy that walked by if his dick was bigger than theirs, they have to give him 50 bucks.

Long story short, I walked away with 100 bucks that day.

God: Who ever kills Hitler will go to heaven.

Hitler: 👌👌👌👌

God: 😩😩😩😩

If you're ever down one day, just go to the orphanage and bully an orphan because what is he going to do about it? He has no parents.

Three boys are playing on a slide when a genie appeared.

The genie says, "Whatever you shout when you go down the slide, I will grant you a bucket full of."

The first boy goes down the slide shouting, "diamonds!", and he gets a bucket of diamonds.

The second boy goes down the slide and shouts, "gold!", and gets a bucket of gold.

The third boy, who never listens or pays attention, goes down the slide and shouts "weeeeeeee!"

Don't ever tell somebody depressed to try again.

Some of the most convincing people you'll ever listen to are born liars; usually they're called politicians.

Yeah man! Life is wonderful! But, when you realize all of the ones you loved were fake.

And when you die, does your online friends notice? How will they notice? Or will they ever notice? Is 13 age too young for dying? Am I just paranoid? I'm scared.

Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?

A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.

Me: Bro, I don't think the Twin Towers will ever order pizza again.

Friend: Why?

Me: Because when they ordered pepperoni, all they got was plane.

What's the biggest joke ever? Gender equality.

My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!

Orphans are like vegans, no one ever remembers the nice ones.

The first ever picture of a black hole got released. It sucks.

Thanks to an unfortunate typo, it's the most one-sided action movie ever.

Alen vs. Predator.

When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,

So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"

What’s the worst joke ever? Your parents’ relationship.

Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.

Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?

Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.

Orphan: Why?

Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.

Have you ever eaten African food?