Evers jokes
I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I've ever seen.
Ching chong kading dong.
(My best words ever used).
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
If you’re ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Did you hear about the man who stole a calendar?
He got 12 months.
Worst joke ever.
Q: Why can't orphans ever win at Yahtzee?
A: Because they can never seem to get a full house.
“Have you ever tried Ethiopian food?”
“No.”
“Neither have they.”
Why did the Orphan punch the other orphan?
Because the orphan broke his leg then had to get a retirement fund, so then he farted and got 1m dollars in cash, so then he started eating his toe jam and thought it tasted really good, so he started selling it to Taco Bell, then ate a cow. All the sudden he was attacked by hangry aliens then gave them some toe jam. They loved it, so they farted there way back up to space where they were eating Harold's fresh toe jam. It was so good, then one of the aliens ate there dog, so had to go the dollar tree to get it out then started gagging on one of the aliens' 2 meter defeater, and then the Orphan made out with the other Orphan and had a wedding at playground sharting happily ever after.
If you ever get bored, just punch an orphan. I mean, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why don't rappers ever become bankers?
Because they always break the BARS!
Have you ever had African water??
Neither have they.
I bought my friend a rope for his birthday. He said it was the most violent book ever.
Have y'all ever heard of dad jokes? Y'all hairline is funnier than those.
Q: Have you ever felt a window?
A: Did you feel the pane?
A patient visiting his doctor asked him if he had ever laughed at a patient.
The doctor said, "I have never in 25 years of practice ever laughed at a patient."
Reassured, the patient drops his trousers and underpants.
Immediately the doctor burst out into loud raucous laughter when he sees that the patient has a penis the size of a cocktail sausage.
After about 10 minutes the doctor manages to get himself under control.
Swiftly apologising he says to the patient, "Sorry about that. How can I help you?"
The patient says, "Have you got any cream for it? It's swollen."
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house?
No, neither has he.
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
If you're ever bored, pee on an android. Apple is better!
There once was a bear and a rabbit, and they hated each other.
The bear and rabbit then stumbled upon a mystical talking tree. The tree said: “I can give you 3 wishes each if you will stop fighting!”
So the bear went first. “I wish all the bears inside the forest are ladies.” And all the bears within the forest became females.
The rabbit said: “I wish I had a helmet.” Rabbit gets the helmet, and the bear looks at him funny.
The bear wishes: “I wish all the bears in the United States are ladies.” The wish was granted.
The rabbit says, “I wish I’ve a bike.” By this point, the bear thinks the rabbit is the stupidest thing he’s ever seen. The rabbit could wish for cash and have all the bikes in the world.
The bear says: “I wish all the bears inside the world are women.” The wish is granted.
While it’s the rabbit’s turn to wish, he puts on his helmet, gets on his bike, and says: “I wish that bear is gay.”
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?