Evers jokes

Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.

Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.

Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."

Roses are red, violets are blue. If you ever feel alone, I'm always watching you.

I got a PS5 for my brother, best trade I've ever made.

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Me: Have you ever went sky diving?

Friend: No.

Me: Well don't, it sucks.

Friend: Why?

Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.

I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

Friend #1: "Yo guys, what's the most unfair game you've ever played? For me it's Fortnite."

Friend #2: "I'd have to say Monopoly."

Me: "The most unfair game you say? Life, definitely. Like, no one wins, it's a one-way game."

Friend #2: "Uhh...that's not exactly what he meant..."

Friend #1: *calls the suicide hotline*

When I die, can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?

I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.

If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.

Expresso, expresso, no more depresso!

Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me, repeating a year.

Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you?

Then there is me: My life.

Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr. Dickinson...

Ya ever think about the twin towers plan?

Me neither. It all came crashing down.

How to tell if you're depressed? You came to a website called "worst jokes ever.com" looking for a quick smile.

I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."

Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!