Ever heard of the show naked and afraid? thats what i call hide and seek with my uncle.
I got a ps5 for my brother, best trade i've ever made
Someone asked me if I've ever tried to kill myself. I responded, "Absolutely. A few times actually. I'm just not very good at it."
roses are red violets are blue if you ever feel alone i'm always watching you
If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
me: have you ever went sky diving friend:No me:Well don't it sucks friend:Why me:They gave me a parachute and I lived
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.
When I die can someone play "Best Day Ever" during my funeral?
I bought my blind friend a cheese grater for his birthday. A week later, he told me it was the most violent book he ever read.
If you ever feel depressed, drink some coffee.
Expresso Expresso, no more depresso!
Friend 1: What's the most disappointing thing that ever happened to you? For me repeating a year. Friend 2: Failing an important test. And you? ----- Then there is me: My life.
Ever wonder where people got their surnames? Mr Baker was probably a baker. Mr Butcher was probably a butcher. And then there was Mr Dickinson....
I got a handjob from a blind woman the other day. She said, "It's the biggest thing I ever had in my hand." I said, "No love, you're just pulling my leg."
Ya ever think about the twin towers plan? Me neither. It all came crashing down.
I wont ever Forget my dads last words: "OH GOD THE POLICE!!!"
Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No,he hasn't either.
How to tell if your depressed? You came to a website called worst jokes ever . com looking for a quick smile.
Stephen hawkings is such a bad role model for our kids
He only ever looks one way when crossing the street
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
