Employment jokes
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
I got my job at a bank and lost the job the day I got it. A lady asked me to check her balance... so I pushed her!
My boss found my permanent record at the orphanage, and he’s mad. I got fired...
I have said a ton of jokes in my lifetime.
But I got fired from that job.
One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.
And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.
And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
I got fired from the M&M Factory because I sorted out the W's.
I lost my job at the bank. Some lady asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
I have so many jokes about unemployed people, sadly none of them work.
My sister lost two things today:
1: Her virginity.
2: Her job at the zoo.
How did the bullet lose its job? It got fired!