Employment jokes

Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.

Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.

Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.

Amber: Fine!!!!!

Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?

I tried to hit G by putting D.

"Dick, you're fired."

"I'd buy that for a dollar."

Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!

Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.

I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to his job at KFC!

When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.

Why did the booty get a job?

To make ends meet!

So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.

About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."

Today; worst day ever.

My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.

Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!

Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.

Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.

Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!

Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!

Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!

Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!

I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...

Knock, knock...

Who's there?

I don't know?!?

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.

What’s worse than getting a job at McDonald’s?

Not getting the job at McDonald’s.

There was a house with a three-story building.

The first one had Mexicans.

The second one had Africans.

The third one had white people.

An earthquake came.

But who did survive?

The white family because they were at work.

Why can't orphans work at S. C. Johnson? Because it's a family company.