Employment jokes
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer.
The woman goes into her supervisor's office and tells him that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against the man and explains why.
Treon: I don't care about Vorkie.
Amber: You should, she could be a great person for the company.
Treon: We don't need another one, we got 100 people in here, no need. Now, Amber, please just go make yourself useful.
Amber: Fine!!!!!
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
I got to work.
Ben: Oh no, my boss is here. I hate my job and I'm terrified of my boss.
Ben: Uh, hey, hey Mr. Boss.
Boss: Have a nice day.
Ben: Ok, bye!
Boss:??
Do you know how I lost my music teacher job?
I tried to hit G by putting D.
Yo mama so ugly, when she entered the scare factory, she came out with a job application.
"Dick, you're fired."
"I'd buy that for a dollar."
How does a pimp answer when asked why he chose his occupation?
Answer: He wanted a stable source of income.
Why does Zac say he works at McDonald's? Because Aaron go errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
What has four legs and works at McDonald's?
The remaining members of Nirvana.
I got fired from the library in the first 30 minutes because I "womens rights" in the sci-fi fiction section.
Why did the booty get a job?
To make ends meet!
When my boss asked me who is the stupid one, me or him? I told him everyone knows he doesn't hire stupid people.
I gave up my seat to blind lady because she couldn't find any--let's just say I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to his job at KFC!
So, this guy, right? He has been through the worst shit in his life. He lost his house, his car, his wife, his kids, everything except his dog.
About 2 weeks after he loses everything, he goes to apply for a job. He attends work for the first 2 weeks to get his first paycheck and then calls in sick for about a month. He comes back to his boss' office after the month is over and his boss questions him. The man claims, "Sir, I was blowing chunks." "What do you mean by 'blowing chunks'?" says the boss. The man replies with, "Chunks is the name of my dog..."
Today; worst day ever.
My annoying sibling got hit by a train, and I lost my job as a conductor.
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
I have a great job for you, but you have to start it off...
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
I don't know?!?
We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.