Employment

Employment Jokes

Nun

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One serves the nailed to the cross, one nailed by her boss.

Son

My son's class is having a career day next week.

He was all embarrassed about having a mother who works at the AISH office.

We've agreed that I'll tell his class I'm a prostitute.

Orphanage

I arrived at work and saw a kid crying. I walked up to the kid and asked, "Hey, where are your parents?" and the kid just cried more. God, I love working at an orphanage.

Job

I had sex with my boss's daughter.

I didn't get fired. I'm self-employed.

Interview

(BILL is sitting in the waiting room, fidgeting with his tie. MR. SMITH enters with a clipboard.)

MR. SMITH: (sternly) Good morning, Bill. Ready for your interview?

BILL: (nervously) Uh, yes, sir! I’ve prepared a lot for this!

MR. SMITH: (raising an eyebrow) Great! Let’s start with an easy question. Why do you want this job?

BILL: (confidently) Well, I want to help your company succeed! I believe in hard work and dedication!

MR. SMITH: (nods) Good to hear. Now, what’s your biggest weakness?

BILL: (eyes widening) I tend to be overly honest.

MR. SMITH: (leaning in) That’s not really a weakness.

BILL: (smirking) I don’t care what you think!

(MR. SMITH pauses, surprised, then bursts out laughing.)

MR. SMITH: (laughing) Okay, you’re hired! We need more honesty around here!

Calendar

Why did the person get fired from the calendar factory?

Because they took a day off.

Dick

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

Man

Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.

Orphanage

There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.

Male

💪 💪 🏋️‍♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?

Cum Junkie.

Unemployment

The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.

Restaurant

I arrived at a restaurant early and the manager said, "Do you mind waiting a bit?" I said, "I don’t mind," and he said, "OK. Take these trays to table 9."

Bank

Got fired from the bank yesterday.

They caught me drinking on the job.

Mother-in-law

Today was a really bad day. My mother-in-law was hit by a cab AND I lost my job as a cab driver!

Receptionist

We stopped by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us, "I am wan kin the manager." So we just left in disgust!