I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. -- A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say "Tell me if you can hear me", then get in the trunk and start screaming.
I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
"Well, I'm your man." I replied, "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."
My boss yelled at me the other day, “You’ve got to be the worst train driver in history. How many trains did you derail last year?”
I said, “Can’t say for sure, it’s so hard to keep track!”
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
Me: trys to scan self at walmart* i cant scan myself, wanna know why? Alfred: Why? Me: because im worthless... =)
Why Was The Blonde Fired From The M&M Factory?
For Throwing Out the W's
people call me a bad person but just the other day i saw a little kid crying and asked him where were his parents , i love working at the orphanage
Customer: Can I get this in a smaller size and a different color?
Employee: Ma’am, this is an adoption agency, you can’t do that here!
Why can’t the employee tell dirty laundry 🧺 jokes?
Because they always come out clean.
What person cant work at a family business? An orphan
hot women with big boobs work at Hooters, but where does a handicap woman work?
IHOP
We stop by the reception desk, but the receptionist informed us “I am wan kin the manager.” So we just left in disgust!
I was working at the bank today when an old lady came up to me and asked me to check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Why did the girl quit her job at the donut factory? -- She was fed up with the hole business.
I don’t orphans work at dollar tree?cause it’s a family business
Today I was at the Apple Store when I saw that a lot of phones were broken. When I looked around I saw none other than Pristiano Penaldo smashing all the phones. He said he was mad because he ghosted vs a relegation team. Shame on you Penaldo!
A man walked into a shop and asked the shop keeper for a potato-clock. The shop keeper said, 'I dont know what a potato clock is' The man said, 'me neither but im starting a new job and my boss told me work starts at 9 so id have to get a potato clock
Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Paddy agrees to tell Seamus` wife the bad news. He knocks on the door and Seamus` wife answers. " Whats happened Paddy?" Paddy frowns. " Im sorry to say poor Seamus fell into the Guinness vat and drowned, im so sorry." She started to cry and asked paddy: " Did he at least die quickly?" Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee."
I can't believe I got fired at the calender factory. I mean... All I did was take a day off!
