Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."
Employment Jokes
I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"
Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.
I got fired for not doing enough work.
Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.
- I work with animals.
- Great! What job?
- A butcher.
My job is so amazing.
Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.
Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.
My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.
Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?
Because it's stable.
My friend dreamed of being a porno star.
He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.
The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!
I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.
Boss: Have a good day.
Me: *goes home*
What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?
Unemployed.
Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.
I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!
I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!
Today sucked. My girlfriend got hit by a car, and I lost my job as an Uber driver.
Why do women need a pay rise? Isn't the glass ceiling high enough?
I saw a little kid cry. I went up to him and asked where his parents were. Jeez, I love working at the orphanage!
Mommy, mommy! Do we own a sweatshop?
Shut up and keep sewing!
The best part of working at an orphanage is you can give them family-size chips.
