Employment jokes

How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?

Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.

So one day a boy was at his dad's work when another little boy ran in crying. Then the dad said, "Aw, little boy, are you lost? Where's your parents?" And the little boy at his dad's work said, "OMG! Dad, you can't say that!"

Why can't he say that?

Answer: He works at an orphanage.

Tim and Tom were at work. Tim said, "I'm sick of this. I'm going to act like an idiot to get sent home." So Tim was on the roof saying, "I am a light bulb!" The boss walked in and said, "Tim, go home, you're acting like a dick!" Then Tom started packing up and Tim said, "Tom, why are you packing up?" Tom says, "I can't work in the fucking dark, can I?"

I lost my job at a research facility. The people were too chill for me.

My friend dreamed of being a porno star.

He did it for 3 months and decided it was not for him.

The next job he got was pumping petrol. Halfway through filling up, he pulled the hose out and started spraying all over the car!

Your hairline is so curved that McDonald's hired you to be their "M."

Boss: Have a good day.

Me: *goes home*

What do you call a Mexican without a lawnmower?

Unemployed.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, so I asked him, "Where are your parents?"

Bad move, I got fired from my job at the Orphanage.

My ex got hit by a bus yesterday. I nearly lost my job.

Did you hear the one about the Polish elevator operator? He was fired because he couldn't learn the route.

I got fired for not doing enough work.

Guess I didn’t put enough backbone into it.

- I work with animals.

- Great! What job?

- A butcher.

Why did the man get fired from work? Because he took two days off in February.

My job is so amazing.

Today a man asked me to check his balance, so I pushed him over. His balance isn't good.

Why would a man spend his whole career at a barn?

Because it's stable.

Why is it that a physically disabled gay white male will refuse to ask his boss that is an abled bodied gay white male for an increase in his paycheck?

Since he has a very big white dick in his mouth, that could be the reason why.

I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance on the cliff, so I pushed her over because I lost my balance!

I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".

I saw a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. God, I love working at the orphanage!