Club jokes
Marriage is like a deck of cards.
In the beginning, all you need is two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Yo mama so ugly, when she went to the ugly club, they said, "Sorry, professionals only!"
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots.
Why did the orphan become a stripper?
So she could have someone to call daddy.
I started an emo salsa band. We're called Hispanic at the Disco.
Hey Siri, where is my dad?
Your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
HAH, jokes on you! My dad’s in the kitchen!
Your mom’s husband is in the kitchen, your dad is in a strip club in Las Vegas.
...WhAT-
Dating a stripper is like eating a bag of chips in class.
Everyone looks at you in disgust, but deep down inside they want some too.
Why did Hitler never go to a strip club?
He hated the Poles.
Women: “Men used to go to war, now they go to clubs.”
Men: “Women used to fear their nudes getting leaked, now it’s $3.99.”
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? - In case he got a hole in one.
I told my mother I wanted a brother for Christmas. The next day, I saw her in the strip club across the street.
Jill goes home one night with a guy she met at a club. He's tall, super hot, and seems different than most guys she meets. They arrive at his place and head straight to his room. Jill can't help but notice a shelf full of teddy bears. On the bottom are small teddy bears, on the middle are medium-sized teddy bears, and finally, on the top are large teddy bears, all lined up beside each other.
She begins to think that he is sentimental and sweet, and isn't afraid to show it. Her heart melts and she want to give him the best night of his life. She gives him a blowjob, and lets him really give it to her, and even takes it in the rear! In the morning, she slowly gets dressed, and smiles at him and asks, "How was that?" He nods and says, "Not too fuckin' bad at all. Help yourself to a prize on the second shelf!"
Why did Hitler stop playing Golf?
He kept getting stuck in the Bunker.
Why do trans women make the best golf course grounds staff?
They’re enthusiastic about getting rid of unwanted balls.
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
A man comes home and hears his wife talking about having sex at the club. The man busts into the club with a revolver and says, "WHO TF FUCKED MY WIFE?" Well, everyone looks over and is quiet, and someone in the back says, "Mate, you don't have enough bullets."
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
Why does Hitler hate golf?
He would end up in a bunker!
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!