Club Jokes

Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end you wish you had a club and spade.

Yo mama so ugly when she went to the ugly club but they said sorry professionals only

Q: Why cant you tell 911 jokes in a comedy club?

A: They always crash and burn

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest tits.

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money. The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed. The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed. The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed. The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money,.....Then he married the one with the biggest breasts.

You're so bald, the Hair Club for Men has elected you president.

Q: What Kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip

I made that one up.

A teacher asks her class, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Little Johnny says “I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best b*tch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day”. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with the bad behavior of the child, decides not to give importance to what he said and then continues the lesson. “And you, Susie? ” the teacher asks. Susie says “I wanna be Johnny’s b*tch.”

YO MAMA!

Yo mama so UGLY… at the strip club… people pay her… to keep her clothes ON!!!

Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club. Thank you all for coming.

Apple bottom cringe boots with the kek (with the kek) got the whole club looking at shrek

*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*

where was your mom last night in the man club

A dad and son walks into a strip club the people in the strip club said he was to young to be in hear so they had to leave 10 years later they went back there. They saw a small dancer the father walked over there and said the woman looked to small to be in hear her reply was...?

What Football Club das Mason green wood play for? Prison Fc

What does my uncle call a school?

A strip club

The first rule of the Alzheimer’s club is…

Wait, where are we again?