I have to say my humor isn't the best, but I'll give this a go.
My science teacher always reminded us about kilometers per second. Now I want to kilometer per second.
You know those credit card inserters at Walgreens? I want to insert my credit card on my wrist.
I'll shut up now.
When the autistic kid brings a gun to school and thinks it’s a dart gun.
In the morning at 6:30 AM,
Teacher: Who fought in World War I?
Me: Trump & Biden.
Teacher: Oh ok... well good job class, see you tomorrow and study your books.
After school,
Teacher: Oh God those kids know nothing.
"She looks at her clock."
Teacher: And now I am sewed.
The teacher says to do your homework. I do. My friends do. One person never does any of his homework.
Eventually, we had to have fun. He said he didn't do it. WOW what did he do? I like to think he got smacked and nearly committed suicide.
Once, there was a kid named Cale, but his classmates didn’t know it was spelled with a “C,” so they asked him if he could be their snack.
Today we need to teach our teens about having safe sex while using contraceptives.
Condoms 99 percent effective.
Birth control 99 percent effective.
Etc.
Just be like me and use underage 7 year olds works 100 percent of the time (only cost 20 years in jail ;)
A kid walks into the classroom on time.
Why dont orphans go on trips at school
Parent signature_________________
why cant a orphan go to college? He needs a
Parent signature________
What is yellow and brings kids to school every day
I was in Alabama last year. I walked into a store and noticed a couple kissing each other and I said excuse where is the bathroom and the man said right over there. I went into the bathroom and then heard the girl say “Dad I have to go to school soon”
Kid: Mom, do trees poop?
Mom: Yes. That is how we get #2 pencils.
I'm in school shooting. #USA
Teacher: What do you want when you grow up?
That depressed kid in class: Dead.
Why did the sun not go to college? Because it already has a million degrees!
We have a teacher in school. His name is Haybrock, but he is gay, so we call him Gaybrock.
In our history class we were on our China unit and learning a little about gunpowder.
And I said "WOAH THAT'S LIT!"
2+2=7
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce out of school early!
Student asks teacher, "If I throw an apple and noodles, which one will fall first?"
Teacher replied, "I don't know."
Then student replied, "Noodles will fall first because noodles are fast foods!"
