Education jokes

I told my dad that I wanted to go to a college with a 100% acceptance rate and a 50% graduation rate, and he said, "Your mom doesn't count as a college!"

Why are Americans so good at shooting?

We have the best schools for it.

Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a virgin."

Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades, and they will stop."

Are you a school bus? Because I want to fill you with kids.

I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.

I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"

She said, "She was a little tardy."

I asked her, "I thought they all were."

Bully: Have you ever heard of a brain?

Stupid kid: No.

Bully: You should go get one!

Stupid kid: Wwwwaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

What do you get when you cross a vampire with a teacher?

Lots of blood tests!

Why was six so scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.

WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.

What do orphans and homework have in common?

Everybody forgets about them.

What is everyone’s favorite class?

None, because people don’t like school.

Why didn't the opening photo actually have a pic of sex on it? I have always wanted to see porn, too bad I have parents and a school Chromebook.

Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.

Teacher: “If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have?”

Johnny: “A new bike!”

Why was the Cheetah not allowed to do tests?

Because it always cheated.

So, a man walks past a gun store and sees all the guns are half price. Then the man says, "Wow, school supplies are low this week."

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

Why did the teacher yell at the orphan?

Because he didn’t do his homework.

What did a car say hi to?

It said hi to the school.

How many letters are in the English Alphabet?

Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.